This   video  is for illustration only

We  are  in worrying times  as we watch  many youngsters  make   marriage exit  strategies  at the  beginning of their  unions  making many of them  to be  lack  lustre  towards  staying   faithful  ,honest,   loving,loyal  and kind to their  new spouses and many do not work  hard  at keeping  the marriage  agreements or make their marriages  to  work. Sometimes  they do not work hard to feed  their families  or  stay  faithful to their  spouses since they  feel that  they have nothing to lose  if there is any  marriage breakdown  signalling little  love in a  very life changing event, that is  a wedding day. Many  of  us  watching  these trends of  people  jumping  in and  out of marriages today, do worry  about  the impacts  these trends  might  be having on the children and the teenagers that are learning how to relate  with others in a marriage  setting from the adults. The lack  of love  some  people sometimes  show  to those  who they once  hugged and loved  while making  themselves objects of  gossips  and tales is making many  people to  gasp  at how  callous  many  have become, while tossing  their  spouses and  children up  and down to the  watching  eyes of the world. The  children involved are harmed  and hurt while  some make  simple  excuses  for  breaking  someone’s heart, while parading  themselves about quickly  with  new partners , showing  people that they are very handsome or  beautiful  enough to get  better, more beautiful , richer partners  in their  own eyes , while  putting their children through pains  and at risk while  they speak  about money  and possessions, making the trivial , more  important  in  sacred unions  involving large  crowds  of  people  such  as in-laws , families , family friends  work colleagues and  business partners  , who were known to  the separating couples. Marriages  are  supposed  to be loving, joyful  and long  lasting  for  life,  as those  who  honour their  partners , live  sincere honest  lives , respecting the  marital  vows and  their spouses. But  where  it is  not  working, some people  do opt  to move out, for  reasons  which  sometimes are  very trivial.People  do only realise  their mistakes  in  life,  when they are  aged and by then  it will be  too late to reverse  the long gone  events of life and  hurtful moments.Dragging innocent people  into trickish  unethical marital  separations, is  not  an ideal thing to  do. People  who pursue unethical, deceitful  and harmful  divorce processes  can be hurting  to others .The  people involved  are  either selfish, having affairs and  were  never in their marriages as they  could be emotionally  absent while  married , while their ignorant spouses  are  present ,but whatsoever  be  the  reasons  for  wanting to pack out  of  a union, it is  better  to  do things  in honest  ,ethical manner, rather  than lying  and hurting other innocent  people.  To do things unreasonably and  selfishly in a marriage is  not  worth  it , as what goes around do also  come  around.Life  is  very  delicate  and  it is  good  to  do to others  what  we  will like others  to  do to  us.

An unethical or deceptive marriage exit strategy often involves deliberately hiding ones true intentions, actions  or assets from a spouse to gain an advantage during separation.It could be  risky  and  could  cause  legal and emotional fallouts  for the parties involved .Sometimes  when the  signs  of  aging  appears  in  people  ,their  spouses will  want to opt out, citing irreconcilable  differences  which  were never there.Some simply  met  a younger  beautiful person ,but move on to lie  to  their  relatives  about their  spouses  behaviours  which  could  sometimes be untruthful.From my  investigations  and speaking  to  some  people  to  enable  me to  find out more ,such  people  put up contact points  for  their innocent  spouses,  while pretending  that  there  were issues in their homes , but  they are just  pretentious  unfaithful  spouses. They can tell people  things that  never  happened or what  their  spouses  did not do them, just to  paint their  spouses  dark  and start  things  like custody battles  or contact meetings  due to  their being  unfaithful and to  avoid  taking  the blames  for  the  scandals  relating  to  their  marriages  .Sometimes  the ignorant  spouses  will  be  with them, still  loving them without even  knowing  that  they  are  going through  a  marriage  breaking  process  ,while  being  deceived.

But issues  such as  being untruthful, lack  of  trust, financial  misconducts, infidelities, family pressures to leave  ones  spouse , peer  pressures, are the  things  that do lead to marital  breakdowns . Keeping ones  spouse in the dark  about ones intentions, is a very  wrong  way to  end   a  marriage. And  starting ones  marriage through  mischief and not  having any plans  to  stay in it  is  harmful. It can lead to  long term hurts  for all  the parties  involved. If  someone  has no good  intentions before  entering a marriage  ,it is better not  to  go into  the marriage  at  all, than to harm others  through lies  and  deceitful dealings. If  someone  feels that  they lack the  will  to stay  faithful  even  when they  are  married  to  kind loving people, then they  need  to   think about their  intentions before the wedding day, whether  they  can  cope  with  marriage  pressures that come  due  to  someone having  extra marital  affairs and  calling people  for an innocent partner  and heaping lies  on them  just to  exit the  union, because they  cannot stay  faithful. I have  heard many  stories  from many  people  about their spouses  paying house rents  for their  mistresses  and even paying  bills  for  children  born  through  their extra  marital  flings, while their own spouses and children are  suffering homelessness  and lack. Such  men  will fling their  wives  and kids  out  to other  cities, leaving  the women struggling with raising kids  alone ,while they are in another  city  arranging their  exit  strategies , with  their  mistresses , helped  by those  they  are  lying  to. Such  people  come  around  to  exit their  marriages  on their  own terms with  their  spouses, by  claiming  that  they  were  in an abusive  marriages , while  using  that  as an exit  strategy,  to  exit  a calm peaceful marriage due to their  infidelities. These  are cruel  and harmful  marriage  exit  strategies that are  very deceitful. Sometimes those running  around  and  calling their  partners  out,  for  things  they  did not  do, know  about their  infidelities  and are relatives  to  the  incoming  partners  , all  weaving webs  of lies , in what  is  supposed to be  a  happy  marriage  setting  ,while  hurting so many people especially  the  children  that are involved while  running  their deceitful  marriage  exit  schemes. I  have heard  lots of  stories about people pursuing  unethical  marriage  exit strategies , while  destroying other harmless  people during  their  exit  strategies using  schemes  such as

• Using Monkey  Branching tactics

• Some people  do prepare a new relationship ,while still in an existing one, using it as a branch to swing to another marriage, ensuring one is not alone in between partners, which is similar to cheating and is inherently  a dishonest practise. I have  heard  women with stories  of their  spouses  carrying  on  with office affairs ,coming back late  to a very  humble  enduring loving partner,depleting  family resources  and finally exiting the union in a very  cruel  manner like telling people  that their  partners  were  using their bank  cards  and  keeping them away  from monies , heaping  financial  abuse  accusations  on  their  innocent  spouses , while  that  was  an exit strategy.People  will be gathered  and  time  wasting meetings  will be  done  for  someone  distracting herself  or himself  in a marriage  from an affair  ,while  hurting  everyone that is involved including families  , friends and children.Such people stay for years building  up  troubles in a seemingly  happy marriage, while  pursuing their  own agenda  of  divorce and  separation  using false  tales , backed up by  people  who are ready  ready  to believe  their  false  fantasy  fables.Most times  their  spouses  may  keep  calm  not understanding  what they  are  doing.They  pick  up  quarrels at everything, will distance themselves  from  their in-laws  and stop  going  out with their  spouses.They  are  just  waiting  for  their  spouses  to move  away  but  are not  smart  enough  to tell them.Rather  they will employ other callous  people  to help them to  drive their spouse  away,  by accusing their innocent  better  half of  doing  what they did not do to them , during trial  separations  leaving their  partners  baffled.Their partners sometimes will end up in psychiatric hospitals , because  of the  shock of their behaviours  and unsuspecting  up coming divorce  problems, while they  move on  in deceit.But  the  result ends  in  problems for  the kids  ,who  become  damaged  when  their  mums  are  not around  to look  after them.When women  are  sent  away  from kids  due  to  psychiatric  problems  ,it is the kids  that  suffer  most  because  they miss the care  and  love  from their  mother.The  family  finances are  sometimes affected  as  only the  man  will  be taking  care of  the kids ,leading  to  poverty  and  pain  for  everyone  involved.Many  people  from  what  I  have been meant to  know  lost their  fortune  during  the process  of  marriage  separation  as  they  find it hard  to  concentrate  on  their  businesses  and jobs  due to  the  resultant  negative  psychological  effect  of  marriage  separations.The losses  of  separations  go  throughout  the  family  life  and  most  families  are  left  with  pains  after the process.It is better  to  work  out  ones  differences  with  the  spouse  than to lose  so  much  in a short  while.

• Secret Financial Exit Preparation

• I  discussed this with  many people, who told  me  about their own  experiences  and  that  of other  people they  knew  who had  spouses that built up secret escape funds by moving money into  personal accounts that their spouse cannot access,while  they  were stressing  out  their  children and other parties  in the marriage.In  such  cases  the person  exiting  the  union,  will never  contribute  to household   expenses  and will  always  have  some  reasons  not to pay  in money because  they  are emotionally  absent in the union.But they  will  be the ones  to play  the  blame games on their  spouses ,while  lying  about their  spouses  and their  spending's.  Such people  sometimes use the family  funds  to  buy gifts  for their  new  found  love ,depleting  family  funds  and  living in lies.While the  person they are leaving  is  showing them love ,all they do  is  complaining about little things  because  they have found  somebody new.

Gaslighting ones  spouse  to initiate  a separation

Creating an atmosphere of  contention where the other person is accused of being mad  or  building up fake stories about non existent issues in the marriage, to avoid taking responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage is  some of the things  that  some  people  do.I have  heard  cases  where mental  health  tests  were conducted  on the innocent  partner,while the  arranged  crowd  who know  what is  about to happen are  brought in to  accuse the innocent partner in  some  countries  just to initiate separation. The unsuspecting partner   could  be  told they are mentally ill ,  while  false accusations  are  heaped on them just to make them to move  away.The  deception continues  until  the  person being  divorced  is harmed,  as they are  finally told  what  is about to  happen,which  is  very  deceptive and unethical.Some do  go  to the extent of  taking  custody  cases underneath  with their  unsuspecting  spouses attending  unneeded  time  wasting meetings while  the  separation  is  carefully  initiated by the person  walking out.This is very  dubious and   the  involving  children  are  brain washed into believing  that their  mum  or dad  is  not  a good person. The  unsuspecting spouse will  be duped  and  asked to leave the house  for several years  for them,because  of  the lies  being told  to those  doing  the  separation and the  children  will be left seeing  one of their parents being hurt.The unsuspecting spouse  will  be  brainstorming  themselves  as to the reasons  why such  an event is happening , without knowing  that they are  going through gradual separation and  all  monies  will  be giving  to  the  deceitful  spouse to look after  the kids ,while they are running  about  with  other  people  for  no  reasons  other than  selfishness  while the  kids  are  watching on. This is  an unethical  and selfish  way  of pursuing  separations by heaping  blames  and  faults  on innocent  people  and claiming  financial  or physical  abuses  that  did not ever happen.If someone is unfaithful  and needs separation,it is unethical  to  punish  an innocent  partner emotionally,  using   unethical  exit strategies.I have  heard  about    some of the men were being  asked to leave their homes  for   financial  abuses that  did not happen, for the person exiting  a marriage  who is playing a victim ,to move in  with  her boyfriend.The  person playing  victim  will just  be lying  and  finding   ways  to  move on to the  next  woman or man,while their  unsuspecting ignorant  partner   will be  running  the home  for them.The  lying partner  crying wolf  will be telling people  that  her partner is  holding her  bank  card  and spending her  money ,while she is  being giving more by the people promoting  the  whole  drama.It is  just a marriage exit strategy  , that  could surprise  their  unsuspecting partners.The unsuspecting partner  will be  showing them love,working hard    and spending  time, effort and money to keep them happy,while they  are spending  family funds  outside  and playing the victim.On the long wrong the entire  deceit  will harm  everyone  involved especially  the  children.

Disengaging and withdrawing from  someone  emotionally

Moving out emotionally while continuing to live with ones partner for financial or comfort reasons, sometimes while setting up an entirely new life in secret  is  not  an ethical  to do things.We have  heard  many  people  explaining  to the  world that they started  their new relationships , when their  marriages  were  over.Sometimes it is  not always  true.Marriages  end when people  switch  emotions  to other  people  and find their partners  not  good  enough anymore  or  attractive.When  people  are  faithful in a union,this does not happen , because  they love their partners  and value their union .Such marriage exit  strategies are  bad  and risky .They  can  lead  to

• Retaliation from  a victim, after knowing  what  ones spouse  has been doing   behind them.

• Deception has a high likelihood of detection, which can trigger severe consequences, including retaliation and a more complex, contentious, and expensive legal battles.

• Damages to the emotions

• Deliberately  making it harder to work with ones partner and causing lasting damages by lying  about things  that did not happen in a home can be damaging to  the  children psychologically.There  is  a  story  I heard   about  a man  whose  union  was  ended , being  worried or being coerced  into  breaking up his  home  against  his  own will  by  the  family of  someone he  got  pregnant  ,while  pursuing  an affair. When this happens  in  a  marriage  ,it  is hard  for  the  men  involved to leave for a  new partner,because their  partners  are  innocent,the  marriage  breaking  tactics sometimes  fails  and both parties reconcile , realising that they love themselves .A  woman I  spoke to  about this,  told me about people coming  to  arranged    family  separation meetings , done  without their  consents and  deceitfully, where  children  are  being  told  that their  father or mother  are no good.And  the  children watch  their parents go through  pains  and nothing  seriously  was  actually happening  to break the union between  their parents , except forced  separations  caused by  the  other women  and their friends/families   to  replace one of the  spouses.The  watching children sometimes  grow   up with  memories  of such  events  on their minds and that  can be psychologically  damaging  to  children as  they  do remember such events  with  sadness as  adults.Some people have  seen where  parents  were  being  separated , because one parent  is  being  giving  money,while the other parent  was at  work .Is  taking money  when  someone   is  working  and trying to be honest,  enough reason to  force  people to  go their  separate  ways in  a marriage.  In  such scenarios so many  people  do get  hurt and the hardworking person  is  mostly deemed  bad.After some years , the person deemed to be  giving the money  to the complaining partner will come  back to take his  monies  away,leaving the couples  anxious  about  the  constant  troubles,being shown  to the  children .Children grow up fast  and marrying  adults  need to think  about  their marriages  as long term investments,  not few years  of  short hotel let  stays,while the kids  involved  are  psychologically  harmed by the  adults  who are living  in the  moment.

Images  are for illustration only

Graceful

Harry  Styles picks  Zoe  Kravitz  as a wife at last

Monday  04/05/2026  13:20  Pm BST   10mins

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

Harry  Styles  courtesy - pngitem

It  was  a great news  to many fans  of the  lovely  megastar  young man  Harry  Styles  when the news that  he  is  getting married to  Zoe Kravitz  was  announced.What matters  most about  getting married is  finding  someone you love ,who  share the  same  values as you do and  who can put up  with  your weaknesses   and build  a  loving lasting  relationship with  you.Many people who  saw Harry from the days  of  X factor,  picked  interest in him, because  he  is  young , talented  ,  with big  dreams. He became  a  global superstar  to the  delight of  many. Many  people  who  saw him with  different  women , have  been worried that  he  will  go the  way of  many  other superstars ,but seeing  him looking  calm, sober  and happy  with  the  girl he picked as his  wife, is  a big relief to his fans.Everybody watched superstar Harry Styles grow from the little man he was, to the man he is today and many have been praying for him to be given the grace to do things right .When he made  a choice of his bride to be, everyone clapped for him , being a young man on the spotlight ,which he has been finding very distressful. But recently the calls for him to do prenuptials, rather than people congratulating him was alarming.Here are two young people who love themselves and wish to be together and build a family making a  move  towards settling down together. They have not even started the marriage and the prenuptial people are talking about their  divorce , making the young couple to start panicking about money issues should the marriage break up, with one person packing up the funds. Tomorrow people will set up strange people, to come and accuse either Harry or Zoe of taking the other's bank cards and not allowing them to spend  their  own  money or set up some non existent troubles and be hounding both or one of them about. I think it is wiser for the couple, to think more about building a happy,peaceful , loving,long lasting home that  is built on love,joy  and trust ,rather than a home that is built on money talks,money fights and  acquisitions. I was surprised when our dearies came in from  the U.S.A last week and I was told that they have been married for more than thirty two years.I applauded them  for  both  being kind considerate  good people , as many people think more about money in  marriages and allow the latest trends on money talks to cloud the joy of their marriages. I think the young couple need to focus more on making their home a happy calm place, rather than these talks about prenuptials on the engagement day-with the thoughts about who will get what ,when the marriage breaks up ,rather than going on holidays or living on hope ,love, joy, faith and  forgiveness they will be busy thinking about how to share a broken home , the proceeds of the marriage and infighting  over the unnecessary. Marriages are not business centres , but places of love and unity, built with wisdom and prayers. Harry  with  his  vast  fortune  needs  to  concentrate  on  building a  marriage  that   have  a  solid  foundation  which  is  built on love  and trust which cannot  be  shaken  by the  changing circumstances  of life,  instead  of thinking  of  what to  do when  his  marriage  to Zoe breaks down.He has his  life  ahead of  him  and  can make the  right  kind   of choices,  that  will help  his  marriage  to  last , rather  than looking  for  an escape or exit  route  at the beginning  of  his union.With  good counsel  from  those  who love  them, his marriage  to  Zoe will be a successful one, with their   determination to love ,trust and accept each  other  through  every changing  seasons.

Graceful

HOW IMPORTANT IS YOUR MARRIAGE?

Saturday  02/05/2026 BST  P.M  5mins

Images  are  for illustration  only

The  fast  moving modern  times  ethics, mean that many  of the  marital  values  handed  down  to  us  by  our  grandparents  are things  becoming very  archaic  and they  seem irrelevant to  our times.These  values  seem to be  disappearing hence  thoughtfulness  towards  others  seem  out of  norm  for  many people these days .Some people see people's homes and marriages as business centres, because of the commercialisation of marriage unions in these modern times in different  countries  and  continents  of  the  world.It  is  worrying  that modern day marriages  are  being  conducted as business  centres  and  the concept  of  love  is  being  alienated  by many,hence  people  marry  for  what they will  gain financially  from their  partners  which are  wrong  values.But  times  do  change  fast  and  some people  believe  that  moving  fast  from  one  partner  to  another  is  an  ideal  situation  for  children,which  is  wrong and  worrisome. For  some people  marriages are  the  business  centres  and   places  to do  businesses, make  business  contacts  and make  more  money.For  others  it is a  place  to  make  political  alliances  with the  rich  and powerful.Some people  do not  place any  importance  on their  marriages.They  have  things they  want  to  achieve  which are  irrelevant  to  love  and they  opt  out  when  it is  convenient  for them.They  place  no  serious values on their  union.They  say  anything  about their  spouses, in-laws  and their  family  networks  and  do not  care  about how people  feel  .For others  they do not care what happens to the kids  in  their  marital union  and  they  do behave  as they  like  while  married .Some  do  claim  to be  spinsters,  while  married as  they  place  no  serious  values  to  their  union and  they  can hurt  their  partners  by  telling  people  that  they  are  single  while  their  partners  are  kind  to them.It  is better  to  be sure  of  who  we  are  marrying , than  to make  mistakes,  because  humans  do  spring  surprises. For  some people  their  marriages  are  not important to them  and  it is  great  to  look  into  people’s  family  backgrounds , to observe  the  family trends  because  when it comes  to marriages  some  people  do  not  have  values  from their  foundations   and  no one  wants  to  make themselves  victims  of  lies  from  people  who did not learn  what it means  to  honour  ones  spouse  and the  marriage vows.With  some people  they do  not value  the  sacredness of their  marriages  , hence  they can  do  anything  they feel like , while  married  and that  comes  to  the  things that  lead to  divorces  and  fights  so it is great  to  look  deep inside  people's character  before  getting  married  to them.It is important to observe that marriage and family life can only shape one, in line with how mentally prepared the individual partners are, in readiness to handle the incidences of marriage. Ironically, most married people do not have a clue as to how to manage their own emotions, much less another person’s pride or ego. Some are not yet aware that marriage is all about team work and that it does demand that the respective parties play their roles effectively. But then conflicts are bound to arise in the course of marriages, which would task the couple’s problem-solving skills, patience and ability to forgive. Over the years, one of the major problem areas in marriage has been the issue of submission. Women are told to submit to their husbands and to allow them lead without creating an atmosphere of conflict  likewise, most men seem not to have grown into men — to be able to step into their full roles as husbands, fathers and leaders in their homes. What then are the consequences of lack of mental preparation for marriage? You may ask. It’s as simple, as you can guess — separation or divorce!

We live in such a time when divorce seems to have become the norm. There are reported cases where married couples live together and yet do not talk to each other. These are indeed trying times for marriages, and the work of marriage counsellors have since quadrupled. Every other day, we hear that couples have parted ways because of “irreconcilable differences”. Consequently, children from such broken homes are put to the task of trying to figure out what went wrong in the failed marriages of their parents as well as the task of adjusting to the realities of their situations.

Modern day society and the new culture of supposed ease or convenience built on lack of commitment seems to have piled pressure on marriages, causing married couples to lose focus on the ideals of marriage. Consequently, intolerance has crept into marriages and has made it an ordeal to be endured instead of a union to be cherished; social statuses to be projected through a union seem to be the value of the  times, rather than a commitment that was meant to be cherished and esteemed. It is no longer news that this culture of lack of tolerance and spousal misunderstanding is fast becoming the norm. It is also no longer news that every other day one married person next door becomes part of the statistics — a victim of spousal abuse or tragic death. A  victim of  lies  and lack  of trust  due  to infidelity  and  sometimes  societies where  lies are accepted  fast  to  make  victims  out of the innocent. The sad reality is that this weird culture of broken marital commitment is fast eating  into our  societies, and as a result most people have bought into the false belief that marriages must be based on feelings rather than commitment. It would seem then that back in the days when  we were, young marriages used to be ‘for better, for worse, till death do us apart’ (even though most clergymen have argued against that proposition — of things going from better to worst). Now it would seem that most marriages are ‘for better to stay; for worse to go’.

At present, the divorce statistics are alarming. And because of the ever-increasing statistics on divorce, it would seem that almost every marriage has the tendency to fail. That in itself is a potential problem, especially in view of the prevalence soaps and home movies that tend to project the contradictions inherent in marriages and family life.

According to Religious Tolerance Group, “The media frequently predicts that 50% of American marriages will end in divorce. This number appears to have been derived from very skimpy data related to a single county or state. However, it appears to be reasonably close to the probable value. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that “Probably, 40 or possibly 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if the current trend continues. However, that is only a “projection and prediction.”

Let us note the following facts provided by the same Group:

The normal lifestyle of young adults today is to live together for a period of time in a type of informal trial marriage. These relationships frequently do not endure.

Couples enter into their first marriages at an older age than in the past.

A growing percentage of committed couples have decided to live in a common-law relationship rather than get married. This is particularly true among some elderly who fear reduction in government support payments.

There are other startling statistics from other countries, proving that  the love of many to others  are  waxing cold. These are no cheering news. In the same vein, when we look at the events  of today, we find that the trend is fast changing and that marital commitment is waning. It is therefore true that many pundits have concluded that the family institution is failing because of the high rate of divorces in recent times.But the truth  remains  that  people  need  to  work  at their marriages to  remain  in them.The things  that  causes  divorce  are  many  but it is  good  to  marry  someone  who  shares the  same  values  as one  have  to  avoid  headache.If one  chooses  to marry  an anyhow  person  then  the  marriage  will not last  because  while that person is  married ,she/he may not  find it necessary to  stay  faithful.It is wise  to  subtly find out  from  a potential  marriage  partner  their views on marriage.If  someone  feels that  a casual fling  is  acceptable  then one  have  lots  of  headaches  to face in  the future  with  a  casual  person.If  someone  feels that a marriage  is  just to have kids  and move  on then  they  are  not  worth  the investment,because  when people  marry they  invest their  money,time emotions, efforts  and other family  relationships.It  is  good  to  look into  people’s  character  to  avoid  embarrassments  that may  arise  by marrying  them.If  people  value their  union.We can only  access this  through  the  way they  treat  their  spouses  and the  way they  speak about their  spouses.People  who  castigate  or  speak  against  their  spouses  do  not value  the union   and  that  can  be  a bad  situation  to be in a marriage.People  who  do  not  find their union important  behave  as they  like  and can actually  hurt others. It  is  good  for  people  that are getting married or the young ones to  look  into this area  and  find out  if  their  would be  spouse  does  find  being married  as something  important,  to  avoid  being damaged  from a union to someone  with that  tendency of getting bored  by just  living  with  only one  partner  for  a  long  time  .For  some people  they see marriages  as commercial  ventures  and business  centres  to  make more money  for  themselves. For  those  groups  what matters to them is not the  love  or  companionship  they  have  with  someone but  money. When  they  meet  some  of  these people  around the  globe  trying  marriages  using  money  they  are  bound to fail  and fall into the marital  failure  traps. But  for people  who value their union  such  traps  are not necessary  because they value their  union   and they  keep legacies  of love   for their  children by keeping  the promises. Of  lately I  met  two  amazing  men  who value  their  union. One have  been  married  for  thirty  six  years  and they  live  in U.S.A  where  marriages  are  like business  contracts  and I  was  telling  people  close to me that  both  of  them  do  value  their  union.They both  must be making some efforts to keep the love  daily. I met another  man  who told me that he  has been  making  some  effort  to love  his  wife.He told me that  he cooks  and looks  after  her.That  is  someone  that wants  to make his marriage to work.A marriage are for  love  and  companionship  and  is meant  to  be  an institution  ordained  to  ensure that   human  existence on earth  continues.

A  family  watching  television   -Images  are  for  illustration only

GRACEFUL

Promise keeping as  the bedrock to successful relationships with  other people

Wednesday 08/04/2026 BST  10:20 10mins

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

A  young couple  announcing  their  engagement  to their   family

Images  are  for  illustration  only

Many  of us  do not keep  our promises to people  because  we are  humans  and  do  fail  sometimes. It takes  some  form of discipline to  keep  to ones  words  but sometimes  humans  fail  because of  circumstances beyond their control .  Promise keeping is an  excellent  lifestyle  that  people  work  at  adopting  in their  daily  living. It  is  a good  lifestyle to master  but it is better  to keep ones mouth  shut  than to  make promises  that  one cannot keep.

Relationships  and  Marriage  promise keeping

Marital  convenants are  made  when people gather  people  to witness  and oath  to  live together  forever through good and bad times.Marital convenants  are made  when two  unmarried people  promise  to marry  one another.The  air have  powers  in them  and they listen to  human whispers. When people  are  in love  and young , they  run to the marriage altars  to  promise  their  young love that  they will love them forever  and live  with them  in every  circumstances of life. Everyone  claps  for  them  viewing the  day  as  just  a celebration of the  decisions  to live together  and have children. Hence many  take  the vows  lightly  and believe  that they can move  away  while the  good times  last. And they  will  gather  crowds  of  people  to be celebrating  with them  and they  will  take  a serious  oath  before the crowd  to stay together  forever even  when things are  very  rough. For  some of them  who are  at a  low stage  of  the development  of their  ability  to  discern spiritual  events the  unseen elements  that came for the wedding  events  will  serve them  some negatives  right from the  celebrations   and they might  not have the strength  to  shoulder  what the  elements  might  have for  them  because  the negative elements are there  to  make them to  fail, break  the  vows  and get their  lives  chequered. They  will  start  with  financial difficulties ,homelessness  and sometimes  the more  difficult  childlessness. The  couple  will  begin to fight  over little things as  they  are  under  financial  and emotional preasures.Everything  presented to  them will be  to make them to  break the vow  and fail  in their  marital  journey and they will  become  stories  to  the  human  elements on earth  that they are  divorces  and that  negativity  will  bring  them to places of  sadness all  their  lives.They  might  be able to  achieve  so many great  things  in life  but the  elements will  plaster  the word  divorcee  on their  backs.This  will  overshadow  all  their  successes  and  make them to  lose so many  friends  making them to live  below  their   capacities.But  what  would have kept them away from going their  separate  ways  is  patience  and hope.Breaking marriage  promises  because of hardship  set  up  by human  negatives  is not needed  as  seasons  do  come  and seasons  do go.Most people  are  tempted into  finding  a new  partner  to run away from the hard situations, but when they are  in the new marriage   they will  see another  dimension to life’s  temptation  and some  will keep running until  they live the  rest  of their  lives alone or move  around to  up to  six marital partners  making them objects of ridicule  with  their achievements  overshadowed  by  the stories  of their  numerous  marriage  failings.But  always  keeping  in mind  that  a promise  has to be kept, is necessary  as the  wedding  promise keeping events  are     spiritual.Keeping  the promises  give the  married people  a  protection over their  home  and loyalty  gives  married people  success.I  always  tell the younger people  not to go to  people  that they  will  not marry  and  be giving them  engagement rings.It is better  not to break people’s  hearts  by  withdrawing  an engagement  ring because  these  are things of the heart  and even when  they  are married to  another  person  they  will  always  remember  that someone broke their  hearts.You do not want to be part  of  someone’s  negative life  stories. If  one is faithful to ones  spouse after the promise making  which  is  done on the  wedding day,they will  see  latter  that  the promise  kept was worth it.Nobody wants  to finish  the University  education  and reverse back to primary  school. But this  is what  happens  when promises  are  broken. We can tell our  spouses  that we will  be faithful  and meet  another  person on our street  and fancy them better  many people  do because  they are  lacking  in  self  control.When we move to the  next person we will see that  she is not better  than the person  we left  because  humans can never be perfect  as  faults  do  come in different ways. She  might be  a career woman, very clean, very polite  but  she  might   not be  a good  cook and lacks  the ability  to save her money. She  will  run you into  debts  by her  reckless spending  and  leave  you with nothing  during retirement. People  always  find out when it is  too late and they  have passed  mid  life  and  will see that running  about  and breaking marriage  vows  was  a choice  one made when  they were  still  young beautiful  , very attractive but  naive. It is great to  stick to ones promises. Keeping to  the marital promises helps  one to make one  straight  forward  marital  journey  which makes life  very  simple.But this  is  a decision one  can make at the start  of the  relationship  and  make  some efforts to  keep the promises.

Work   Place Promise Keeping

When  people join  new places  of  work  they are made  to sign  promises  or  work contracts that  they will  abide  to     the  work  place  rules  which  are  often very difficult for  many  people  who lack  discipline. Disciplinary  acts  like  coming in  to  work  early  and keeping to  the  rules at work are necessary  to  ensure a  good  work  history. Making  sure  that one have an  eye  for  every  details,good  relationships  with  ones  employers and  fellow  employees  is  very  necessary. Many  people  start  work  with  enthusiasm  but  when certain red tapes  are  brought  in they  do  quit. And for  many  they  do  not care to resign  before  going  away  and that  leaves  many  people  angry. To  be able  to have a  good  career life  one must  think  about not signing  contracts  they cannot keep  as this may  leave  them  jobless  as  many  employers  need  references  to  hire  new staff, so one  needs  to have  a good  working relationship with their  former employers.

Political  Promise Keeping

Political  promises  are made when  the  politicians want  to  be  elected  for    an office.But  from history many  people  have learnt that  many politicians   did  not keep  the  election  promises in the past leaving  their  people  angry and disillusioned. Many  of the  politicians always  have  high  expectations  of  what they  expect to  do for their people  when elected  into the office  leading them to make  lofty promises  which many  of  their  people see  as promises  not kept  on the  run  leading  to  them failing to  win more  votes  from the  electorate  that  voted  them in during  their  first term in office.Many  enter  into offices  inheriting  large debts  and problems  which  make  it hard  for  them to  work  seamlessly  and  the  people  they are leading become disillusioned  and angry.But it is better  to gather  information about  an office  one is  looking  forward to be in  before  making promises. Sitting governments around the world always lose elections and people do ask the reasons why - they always get tempted into not keeping the promises they made in their manifestos and they lose followership by not sticking to their promises and the winning guidelines. People keep following leaders who have the ability to keep their previous promises. When leaders are losing followership it means that people left them since the original winning guidelines given to them to lead their people were not followed and the unhappy followers left.

Financial  Promise keeping

Financial  promises  is  an area of many failing  for many  when taking  out loans,credit cards  or buying things  on credit  which  require  lots  of self  discipline  to do.Also  sometimes people  make  pledges  that they  do  not pay  because  they  had no income after making the  pledges due to  job losses  or decline in financial  sources.When people  are  owing  debts  they  are made to  pay  up  what they borrowed  and they are  forced to  keep to  a certain  repayment  plans which  many people  cannot  cope with.Borrowing  is  better  left  to the  well off  and those  who can pay  up  rather  than  defaulting  on  payments  which  people  with no  source of  livelihood  do.

Promise  keeping  and making  promises  is  a  serious  thing  to  do  and those  making promises  must be reminded  that  contract  keeping  is  what  brings  more  people back  to be ones  clients, friends  and  voters  during  election  since  one good  turn  deserves  another.

GRACEFUL 

The  Reasons why the  world  needs  peace in 2026

Wednesday  03/12/2025 21.58  P.M  BMT  10mins.

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

Courtesy  Graceful -A  world where kids can have birthday  parties  and be happy

The last few  years  have seen a world in  turmoil with earthquakes,  wars,insurgencies ,air  pollutions   and arguments  about  who  will be the leaders  or who  owns  the  world landscapes in different  countries  of the  world ,some people  are trying  to remove the  ancient  landmarks and those  who started these  arguments  have left long ago.We can never have  a perfect  world , but we can  have  a peaceful  world.But with  many  treacheries  and  people betraying those who  love them  and  who ate  on the same tables with them,what can we do?.The world  needs  to think  about a time of relative peace ,free of  the anger  and turbulences of  2025,which  the world  leaders  know what to say  to make their colleagues to pipe  down.When two elephants  are fighting ,the grasses do suffer,  with weak homeless hungry women  and children  running  helter skelter  with no shelter and food, while the  strong men  square  it up in every  corners of the world ,many people  are tired  of  seeing  other people  running helter  skelter,  because of causes  they  do not understand, because  of unsettled  talks about  ancient landmarks , which many  who made previous arguments about  them saw  only when  they  came into this world and are now gone .We  hope  for  world  peace in 2026, as many ask the leaders to  show mercy and forgive  to keep the world peaceful  for the  children .  Everyone  is  hopeful that there will be peace  in the  corners of the world that are heating up  for turbulences , when  the old turbulences from other  countries were not yet settled  and  have become too much  for  the  world to  stop and the peace   efforts being  made to stop the turbulences   have  yielded  no positive results  in the parts of the  planets  affected.While the countries involved  see ruins disturbances  and destructions,   the world  watches on  hopelessly.But  there  is hope for  the world  as  long  as  the leaders  can use dialogue  and soft words,  rather  than showing excess anger  with  too much escalations  of troubles. The  sick lies  on the hospital  beds ,with the weak  elderly  and new  born children, entering the world  with  huge challenges  caused by   the adults, who  are doing something for themselves.The world needs to think  deeply and the global  leaders  need to walk  with tactics  and   forgiveness, no matter  who feels  angered  or right.It is our world and we need to save the  children  and our planet.Without peace  the education of the children hangs  in the balances  and  becomes  massively disrupted, with many  who experienced  less trauma growing up angry , knowing  how pleasant  it is  to  live  a  fear free, trauma  free life growing up.Those  who feed  trauma  to kids  by upsetting  the world ecosystems,  sometimes  behave as if the  kids are  not very  precious  to them.No  child  deserves  to be crying and running helter skelter to hide because adults  who should know better  are  disturbing them.The  world has gone a long way in making arguments  about ancient landmarks and our ancestors  who  like  the turbulences,  left the landmarks where they  saw them, as they could not achieve  nothing  through the turbulences. People  believe  that dialogue  and peaceful  talks   done with diplomacy , are the only positive way  forward in all the countries heating up  for more  turbulences , while people  watch on  helplessly.Most  of the little  insurgence men running about  are hungry  men  who  think that they  can get  food  by fueling disturbances  in their   own  countries.All they need is education  and  help  to stay  calm.With what happened  in the 2025, many people were  not  spared from  the burdens ,losses and troubles created by the outbreaks of turbulences , that saw millions wiped out from  nations  and world economies in turmoils , millions  lost in businesses and the economies of nations wiped out, leaving people in tears and confused with the ecosystems damaged. Wild animals  destroyed and disturbed, ocean  lives polluted,air  polluted  and many  valuables lost  with  irreparable  damages done  even  to the oceans  and air inhabitants, many constantly  hiding to keep  safe  from the  turbulences  caused by humans  for themselves  and by  themselves.The  helpless wild  lives   deserve  none of what  are  being meted on them by humans , seeking to have it all.Buildings  that the ancients  built  with millions  destroyed  and  years  of researches  by scholars  wiped out , with the  education  of  the youngsters hanging in balances and  at stand still because of   the  closure of  schools and universities  in the countries  affected.Many of the young people,  did not see the  completion of their studies  and their  scholarly ambitions were  disturbed,with achievements  abruptly  stopped  by the  disturbances  and  some are not even  alive  anymore to achieve their dreams  bringing those who know them,  to places of pains , anguish  and heartbreaks.The disruptions in the world educational systems have left  youths and children at limbo and disillusioned  in a world challenged by uncertainties, all that people need around them now is peace. Peaceful co-existence for the world ecosystems, families around the world and communities  can only triumph and thrive by staying together, encouraging one another, standing firm in faith telling one another that we have to move on and stay strong for each other. There is hope for us.This is not a time for breaking up of community networks or  destructions  of the world  ecosystems , as together we will all stand and defeat the threats against this globe and humanity. The  threats  against the existence of humans that are in  the  forms of diseases are  much,  but humans do  not need to create more unpleasant  times by themselves and for themselves. Many of the elderly people have their networks broken as many of their friends are gone. We cannot live in a world where we are causing each other pains ,because of our own selfish interests, but genuine care is what everybody needs towards one another after the events of  this year. Community cohesions are needed not the disintegrations of communities, businesses,countries,towns and family networks.The world will be  better off , when  people respect  one another's feelings about   faith  and whatever principles  individuals ,nations  and communities   think  they    believe in, which are different  from what others think they  know   or what they need to acquire or  are entitled to,because everyone came here  with nothing  not knowing  anything at  all .Being  mature  adults means  managing and avoiding conflicts ,stopping existing conflicts   from  escalating further  more and  leading  nations   by genuinely  caring  for other  people, and keeping  everywhere  calm  and peaceful ,respecting others  as people  brought here  for different purposes.  

A UN system stretched to its limits

The strain of transnational challenges on the UN system is stretching the organisation to its breaking point. There are currently  16 peacekeeping operations– nine of them in Africa, three in the Middle East, two in Europe and one in the Americas. There are currently more blue helmets on the ground than at any time in human history.The cost of keeping over 125,000 personnel in the field hovers is at roughly $8 billion a year.

These monies being spent on peace keeping around the world, can be used for good causes. The strain of these transnational challenges on the UN systems is stretching the organisation to its breaking point. These monies can be spent on developing educational systems, funding researches and helping the world's poorest. As Corona Virus has stretched us to the limits, we need to rebuild again.

GRACEFUL

POLITICS

Women  in world  Politics

Wednesday  11/11/2025 22.00 P.M  BMT  10mins.

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

The world has gone a long way from the days when women were not allowed to say any word, how much more venture into politics, to a time when women are allowed to pursue political careers with men. Many leading women are helping the world of positive belief in politics for women. To add governance to the life of a woman can be daunting, this is the reason why people have respect  for the female politicians, who are brilliant and brave. They are today’s positive women, who are confident, exceptionally talented   and positive role models to society. They are inspiring girls   into politics and they are doing very well. They are highly commendable for being able to convince men to support them in the things they are doing to help others. In many countries, women are underrepresented in government and different institutions. This historical tendency still persists, although women are increasingly becoming politically aware and are trying to be part of the world political systems.As of October 2019, the global participation rate of women in national-level parliaments is 24.5%. These women are rewriting world political history and speaking out in parliaments.

The Rt Hon Angela Rayner

The Former U.K Deputy Prime Minister United Kingdom

The youthful beautiful former United Kingdom deputy prime minister stands to inspire a generation of women to support politics. Her presence in British politics means that many women who were not listening to political news have started listening to what she has to say as she navigates daily decisions in parliament with wisdom and charisma. Her presence as the Westminster fashion icon lights up everywhere and many people who are already tired of what has been happening in politics love to see her, as she has endeared herself to the British public with her smiles. When you have beautifully dressed young women telling you how they are planning to make life good for the country, you will not have a sad moment. With her story of hope resonating the corners of the country. Many have risen up from places of gloom by her presence and her lovely demeanour. She is a shining example of resilience and hope in adversity to the people watching her.

The Rt Hon Kemi Banedoch

 Leader of the Conservative Party United Kingdom

Highly respected British MP and the conservative party leader The Rt Hon Kemi Banedoch won the   hearts of people around the world by winning the British conservative party leadership contest, a feat only her has been able to achieve in human history being the first black woman to do that.

 ARGUMENTS FOR CONSERVATIVE IDEAS –The Rt Hon Kemi

   Kamala Harris- U.S.A

The Former Vice President of the United States of America

Kamala Devi Harris ( born October 20, 1964) is an American politician and attorney who has been the 49th and a  former U.S.A  vice President from 2021, serving under President Biden. Harris was a nominee for presidency in the U.S.A  election. She is the first female vice president of the United States, making her the highest ranking female official in U.S. history. She is also the first  African American female vice president. From 2017 to 2021, she represented California in the U.S.A senate. Before that, she was the attorney general in California.

Born in Oakland California Harris graduated from Howard University. Her oratorical power and ability to convince people makes her a very remarkable woman .

  The Rt Hon Liz Truss

The Former United Kingdom Prime minister

Even though the former United Kingdom prime minister stayed for few days in the office, she is a remarkable woman for the strength she showed during the death and burial of her majesty   Queen Elizabeth 11. She is a strong woman for making the state burial a smooth event with no disruptions. Many people might find it a funny idea that she did not stay long, but she did her job well within the short period. Many people are not bothered about people calling her funny names, neither are people perturbed that she left quickly. She is a great woman who has shown the world that women can handle national crisis and be successful at leading a country mourning a queen they loved.

THE RT HON RACHEL REEVES

CHANCELLOR OF EXCHEQUER AND MP United Kingdom

The Rt Hon Rachel Reeves was appointed United Kingdom Chancellor of the Exchequer on 5 July 2024.It is not many times that you will find a woman managing a country’s finances and this is exactly what the United Kingdom chancellor is doing for everyone. Watching her make arguments about her decisions on the country’s               money    matters is very inspiring. She stands to inspire people to be good at money management, which is what  people  told us.

 The Right Hon Dianne Abbott-UNITED KINGDOM

The Mother of the House (British Parliament}

The Member of Parliament for Hackney has always been a favourite in her community where many of her constituents find hope and solace   by approaching her to help them solve their problems. She has been a strong voice in British politics. She is a mother figure to Hackney people. The mother of the House is an honorific title given by tradition to the female Member of Parliament of the House of Commons in the United Kingdom with the longest uninterrupted service. Since 4 July 2024 the Mother of the House has been- The Rt   Hon Dianne Abbott.

 Michelle Obama

 United States of America

 Lawyer and Political Activist

 Former U.S.A President’s wife

 Michelle Obama’s works as an advocate for girls, make her a strong role model for women around the world. She might not be directly involved in standing to vie for political positions. But her last speech during an election rally in the United states of America, makes her a strong political voice to watch. She helped her husband to be a successful president. Many people have called on her to run for U.S.A presidency, of which she declined. But she has inspired people around the world to listen to politics.

Angela Merkel

Former German Chancellor

Angela Merkel the former German Chancellor was a strong voice for her country. She is a brilliant woman of stature. We were amazed at how she navigated leadership in her country and across the entire Europe. There are many other women that are making people to listen to politics, space and time may not permit us to mention them in this issue, but we will do that in future issues of Graceful.

GRACEFUL

Opinion

London  and the emergence of  a city  where the world  converges

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

Tues 04/11/2025 23:03 P.M BMT 10min

Video courtesy  Graceful : London city

London  is  a city liked  and appreciated by many and is a point of convergence for people of different races, colour, beliefs and that is what people find attractive about London. Sometimes people walk into restaurants, to try out other people's  cuisines or make friends  with them, to know more about other  cultures.The blending  of cultures,  make people to like London  and they  find its streets clean, serene and  lovely.They like the high street shops and the fact that most  news about the world are first spread by the BBC.They just like the BBC  and  want to listen to it everyday.They like the television stations,the programmes  and the shows which depict  the old British lifestyles.They also like the London parks,the flowers,the  city life  and the shows.They  like the fast mail  delivery systems ,the royal mail and the post masters.For some reasons the sight of the postmasters  is a fixture  for many people in the  city  and many people like to see them.People  just like  London ,no matter what happens in the city.For  some they feel that London has the best of everything.We may not know every reasons, why people like to converge in London,but we will be asking our friends during summer. But  there might  be other strong reasons , that make  people to feel that they actually want to be part of London,which might need to come out from  the tourists .Why is the world drawn to London, has always been the question?.  London  is very diverse,  that you will  even see people from the remotest parts  of the  world in the city.Why do people like converging in London for  meetings  and they spend so much to attend conferences,trade fairs,trade meetings , despite the  costs of travel  and hotel stays.

1  The world history that is attached to London,means that people see London  as a city with pieces of history in arts,science,technology and even faith.They feel at home in London, even when they are not wanted.They rush to see the museums,the palaces,the landmarks  and the cathedrals  out of curiosity.They travel back home, to  tell people that they have seen the historical  landmarks, which for  them is  a big thing ,but Londoners find it amusing.I believe some of them  find  seeing those historical landmarks  very fulfilling,which is due to human curiosity.

Many of our readers did  tell us that the  world  histories being taught  in schools around the world, even  in  the remotest parts of the world  must mention  London  and its  part in world civilisation. The world teachers paint  positive pictures of London to  pupils, as  a fairy tale fantasy city and many flock to London to see for their own curiosity and as part of leisure.The convergence of people in London stems  from sightseeing  and then the desire  to continue  seeing ,of which many people that are born in the city find not very important and some find it  infuriating.This  is part of what draws  so much children to London, when they become adults.There is this curiosity  for most people to see London and the ancient places.London hotels are  always clean  and the standards  are  high ,so many people like to stay in the city hotels , to experience their luxuries when they visit.People are curious to see people from other  countries that work in London hotels and are amazed that they actually  fitted into the cultural settings  and can interact with others easily.

2  People like the  London buses,their colour and the deckers  , the fast tube trains and the train stations  for some reasons.They might be from cities,  that have  similar buses  and trains ,but  they like to have a real life glimpse of the London buses and the trains.They like to ride on the buses and see the London bridge  because of the fairy tale of London bridge is fallen down, with the music that ends in my fair lady  -which  sounds childish , but those travelling down  just want to see London bridge and its  history  which  many find very childish .I believe that it maybe as a result  of childish  curiosity.London  has  a history of its own tales and many people like those stories.They like the London taxis  like Uber  or the others  which  easily arrive on time.They also like the fact that they can still make it to work by midnight.

 3  The  History of the World wars

Many of the older parents who saw the wars  and the gallantry displayed told their  kids about the  wars and what happened.Some of them who are good  at recounting  histories, had relatives  who  fought in the wars  and never returned  and they constantly  remind their kids that they had  relatives who fought in the wars.They tell their kids fascinating  stories about the heroic acts of the ancients  and  the kids are fascinated  about London  and are  endeared to the city .Half of the city is full of curious  travellers , who do not see London as a place to get free money, but a piece of  world history  and they feel that they are part of London  even when they are not.

4  The London  Colleges and Universities

People around the world  like Universities  such as the University of Cambridge ,the University of Oxford,Imperial College and Kings  College, which have histories of world  Scientific inventions  and  finding cures for diseases.They have this feeling  that London has the ability to find cures  for the hardest diseases through its research colleges  and they like to be part of years of inventions  and finding new cures.They just like the ancients , like  Edward Jenner( small pox)Sir Alexander  Fleming( Penicillin) , Joseph Lister (Antiseptic Surgery),James Lind(Scurvy),who found the cures and  vaccines  for difficult illnesses  and they like London for that.They just  want to be in the universities  where they feel that  they can get the best knowledge  to fulfil their educational aspirations.Some of them simply pass the university gates and tell their  friends that they have seen Cambridge.Nobody knows whether for them seeing the gates of Cambridge University does give those groups any feel good  feeling , as they are not even students ,but they simply pass on to see those places.

5 The  influences  of the  Churches and worship places

Most people  who were raised listening to the priests  from the churches  like London  and the parts the ancients played in spreading  faith to the world and  they are drawn to London . 

6  London's  enduring  Architectural legacies

Many people like London for the legacy of keeping the ancient  homes for  ages.Many people from other  places  have told us that they were  disgusted when their grandpa's  homes were  pulled down  and new homes  were erected  , making them to remove sentimental  childhood memorabilia. They like London for  being able  to make buildings that have stood  the tests of times,through generations  with the dates  showing back to  the ancient times and being able to preserve history in their museums.Many do ask about  the buildings  and how they were  able to preserve the   world  antiques  in the museums and some just like to touch the ancient stonewalls  to see for themselves ,being curious about the ancient times.

7 Many of the world  traditions and values are  based on British traditions   and people  whose grandparents  had  contact  with  the British  ancients  have been told great stories   about London and they flock the  city to see the stories and the stores .London in 2025 can lay claim to being one of the most diverse city ever. 

8  London with its  legacy of literature and stories is loved because of old British literatures  by many scholars.Many people find British literature  fascinating.Books like Oliver Twist  ,Alice  in Wonderland which have been made into plays  make people  to like to  visit London to to see the plays at the theaters.We believe that it is all about human curiosity  and that desire to try something  new.

9  Many people  feel that they will get better job opportunities in London.And they come to the city to look for  jobs.Others  come to set up businesses  which are  mostly the reasons why they come to live in the city.

10  Many people  also feel that living in London means that they are now  classy,upper class  and may have gone up  socially  of  which  many of them  seem very happy  to do  jobs  like  keeping London clean as cleaners  or  standing up for hours  as security guards or standing on the train platforms in the cold or  working long hours  in London  factories to earn a living and doing kitchen potter jobs ,which some of them told us  on asking them that they will never do those jobs in the  places where they came from.We  found it really  surprising that some people do come into London as  doctors ,lawyers,teachers  and still be cleaners  in the trains and streets,   while  studying.People find them amusing ,because  some are doing  nothing  other than living in London,even if they are not working or doing much to earn a living.For them they feel that London is the best place to be  which many  who see them  find  them amusing.

11  Many people  also feel that they will become wealthy ,  by  just living in London.Some  have "delusional expectations" of how much they can make  by just living in London.Even if they have no jobs or job  progressions,they live on the hope that one day that they will  find better opportunities , whether they are wanted or not,they just  need to be in London.

12  Many people like the British  accent and they come around to learn how to speak the language or listen to people speak.Many also like the mannerisms  of posh Britain  and like to live in the  the city  because of that.

13  Many people  like London, because of the economic stability and the strength of the pounds  sterling.The  prices of food items ,clothes  ,shoes and handbags  seem to be the same through years,so they always feel that they  find the stability of prices  of basic items good for them.They  do not mind if they see their  colleagues  in other countries wearing very expensive  clothes  or living  large in large mansions with bigger spaces.They will rather live in London homes ,even if they are small but expensive.Most people in London feel contented, to squeeze up in  their spaces and be getting on with their  lives ,whether they are  worse off over years or better off.They just need to live in or close to London  .It's amazing how many of them prefer to live on the used shop items,one pound  shops goods  and groceries   and goods  from the markets.People find them amusing , as all they want to do is to live in London.

14   Many people  actually  like the British for their humility, quietness and ability to live in solitude.Many people  who come to London  and have lived here for so many  years, learn the lifestyle  and  feel that it is better for them , because   they do not want troubles .

15   Many people are drawn to London because of the Monarchy,its enduring legacies,the legacies of queen Elizabeth 11  and they like to stay close  and be part of London and the histories that are linked to ancient monarchs.They like the traditions  and  displays of opulence, celebrations and like to see them life and they do not bother if nobody wants them to attend the celebrations.They  follow others to attend  as the people in London behave like one big happy  family, as the world emerges to cheer on, when the legacies of the kingdom are being displayed.Are they wanted?-they do not care,they just feel that they belong in London  and they came to see for  what goes on with the royal family and the traditions which are fairy tales for them.Who does not like fairy tales?.They attend every event,  whether they are asked to come or not.

16  The stability of the supply of gas  and electricity is good for businesses,the transport systems of  trains and the buses and the amenities are the things  that make many to come  to  London  and sometimes they are not worried about the stress that comes from living with people of diverse colours ,traditions, languages,races or beliefs.They get along with everybody, even when they are evidently shown that they need to move away from London,which people find amusing and sometimes pathetic. Many Londoners do ask themselves sometimes the reasons  why they are in the city, of which many cannot explain the reasons why,they do odd  jobs to afford London rents and they feel that it is the best for them.

17  There are many reasons people like to live in London which I will still find out  and discuss the matter latter .But many know deep inside of them that they could be better off somewhere  else , but they are adamant  that  they love the city.Some feel that they have no better choices  elsewhere  and the aged among them, feel that they  have spent years  and there is  nothing to live for.London is a place of opportunities,  but  for some it works for them but, it does not work for others.From my investigations,some who left London for other cities , found out that there are other sides to life.But for everyone ,one man's cup of tea  might not be good for others.But one thing we know is that London has beautiful landmarks,cultural  affiliations  to different countries of the world as seen in the museums, which make  people to stay in London,sightseeing opportunities, good  food,homes  and most of all high quality education  with London  schools and academic institutions rated as among the best in the world.London is beautiful, no matter what happens, people feel good about the city.

18  Finally,  people also like the  food and the fact that they can easily get on the go food  from places like Iceland, McDonalds, Burger Kings, they like the  chicken  and chips  shops,  Pizza huts ,the high street shops  and the Christmas light displays and  the new year celebrations  with the  fireworks displays.There are many things that draw people to the city, but we will share them latter.

London Bridge -A Top Tourist spot courtesy Graceful

GRACEFUL

London

Diversity and Inclusion

The  reasons  why communities need to live together in harmony and love

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

Tuesday  28/10/2025  02.00 a.m BST  10min

Many communities in the United Kingdom  are together in unity and love  .Many feel that we have gone  a long way  in educating ourselves  on race relationships and right now people love  that feeling of brotherly love , which many  people drumming up support for community  cohesion,  have done  lots  of  jobs  to make many of us to see the need for us to see others as our own people,  especially in London.Of which I feel that the present  mayor and the previous  mayors , did lots of work on.The  prejudice of yesteryears  ,has  been  a thing  of the  past  and many feel that  we are better United, going about our individual lives and greeting one  another, with respect rather than disrespecting each other,  for no singular reason.All humans  are from the same source,despite  colour, race ,language or faith.  It is better that people in our communities build  up one another  as has been done in the last few years.The  multicultural  face of London, has always been there and the aging communities  mean that many are  exiting, with  the  younger generation not worried  about who is  sitting  down next to them in the trains or buses.The  millennials  and Gen Z  seem  to be very mature,  in  understanding  the history  of  United  Kingdom as the  mother of many nations  ,hence  they have embraced  that unity that  joins the world together-the building of different nations  by the ancients ,through world  civilisation. This fostering of the spirit of unity , which the city mayors  have always  worked on is a better civilised concept,rather than people making inflammatory statements , that are dragging  us back to the older civilisation and taking communities steps backwards.  In the last few years  even those with disabilities  were  given opportunities to work and that brought so much joy in our  communities.There has been fewer  antisocial  behaviours  like thuggery, fights  and mouth bouts  in the train  stations or  bus stations, because of race tensions, which  is  sometimes seen in cities  like London and Liverpool.The  advocates of peaceful co-existence  feel that London  came to that point where many  who love others  dreamt of,where  neighbours  greeted one another by waving and smiling.That is what we need,  rather than the  divisive and separatism narratives  that are  creating and   causing tensions  across our cities.We are better together , drinking our  cups of coffees  in our coffee  cafes together  and asking one another whether we are okay in our  little corners.For those saying that others  have  taken jobs  from them,many believe that those words are not necessary ,as London is a city with great opportunities ,unless one does not have the  needed skills.The wisdom of job hunting is to get something doing ,until one gets the dream job.Since  we are  working by the minimum wages,  no job is too small. We know  that most people can get trained, while at  work for many jobs , so it is very easy  to switch  from  one job to another, unless   one is in a specialist or  highly skilled job.I believe that  the shortage of hospital  appointments in NHS is caused  by non-availability of trained staff to handle  specific areas,leading to delays in getting  hospital staff as droves of NHS  workers left  for other  cities  in search of newer opportunities.I believe that the problem with hospital appointment in NHS  is due to lack of doctors,not what some people are saying.Diversity accepts that, though people have things in common with each other, they are also different in many ways, but despite that people get along and move on with their lives. Inclusion is the fact that the  differences are seen as a benefit, and where perspectives and differences are shared,it could lead to making  better decisions.I believe that when people talk to or about  one another, there should be  some human touch.I  do  look back that many of the people  I  saw  twenty years  ago in London , who  were very young ,agile  and very strong have grown old.The handsome  and beautiful faces have started wrinkling and some are  now  bending to walk.When we reflect on life ,we keep wonder what my friends and I will look like in the next twenty years  and I laugh about those  who do not deeply reflect  about how life moves very fast  especially when making statements  about space.People live happier , by accepting others  and as the free spirited former prime minister Boris Johnson used to tell everyone-lets get on with it.That statement made  everyone to have that sense of being part of society ,something big  and beautiful  with joy ,  feeling strong to  wake up and keep going.That is what we need in our  communities -love and cohesion.At the heart of our communities, is the need to ensure that everyone is treated equally, with dignity and have fair access to resources and opportunities. Employing and engaging with people, who have a range of different backgrounds, experiences and ideas ,increases creativity and leads to better problem-solving and decision-making. Put simply as giving everyone fairer  chances  which help organisations to  perform better. At the heart of our communities is the need to ensure that everyone is treated  nicely ,equally, with dignity and has fair access to resources and opportunities. This is also true of our  workplaces.  People want workplaces that have the correct work practices, cultures and behaviours that are meant to provide innovative, supportive, and interesting opportunities that allow people  to work happily  within their own  capacities  with  not so much pressures  and bias.Such work places  have  much positive  atmosphere and productivity as people  can less often,since they  are happy to turn up  at work  without fearing about what will happen to them due to racial tensions  and  bias at the work places.Many people  have opted  to be by themselves not even turning up for  hospital  and social  appointments  because they live in fear of those  with  social bias  against others but many people  have already  gone above that type of human existence,since most offices are working  by the diversity  and  inclusion guidelines.The business case for good equality, diversity and inclusion  practices in the workplaces is compelling. Employing and engaging with people ,who have  range of different backgrounds, experiences,skills and ideas increases creativity and leads to better problem-solving and decision-making with better results at work places. As we can see, fairer organisations perform better as people  are employed, based on talents,experiences,education,skills  and performances. Society is better , happier and more prosperous  when people see one  another , as us  rather than them.

Look  beyond lost opportunities

 by  Chinyere  Nwakanma

Saturday  11/10/2025 11.00Pm  BST

When you seem to  be carrying  heavy loads  on your head  and life  seems like you are working on a tight  rope, know  that you are  about to break  into  something greater,move on  and move from the  dawn to  a beautiful  morning.

Life's  journeys  can throw  surprises at people and  the points  where some   people  do give up  are  those points where  they  dwelt on lost  opportunities.Many of the  lost  opportunities  are caused by events that  happen  in the course of  human life,  due to errors  or meeting with the wrong people,going to wrong places or doing the wrong things,  of  which  I  will  be telling  my readers  not to always dwell on  lost  opportunities , but to move on to  newer things , give room for  families  and  friends  to bring us  joy , by  doing the ones that  we could do and leave  them  to  do the  rest and  to keep trying  until we are  successful.As humans,  we might think that  we have the ability  to  do everything, we  have  set our minds to do ,but sometimes it does not always happen that way.Life's heartaches help  us to know that we are  still  human and  we  need to look up to providence to help  with our weaknesses  as we have not attained  that state of  seeing ourselves as  some sorts of super powers  on our own.Our weaknesses  make us to strive to be better  and our failings  can sometimes  be  things that  could propel   us to places of greatness.People  only fail, when they  go  to get  a  bed  and sleep   forever  and quit and not try  again.There  is no harm in trying again after failing, as many  who tried  again  have found out that  their failing in the first place  did help them to move into better  places.People  only fail  when they call it quits and  end it  up.Some have  exited the world on their  own,  because  they could  not trust  to share their feelings  of  despair  with anyone,  but what makes  us human  is our lack of strength  to be superhuman.When  we give up  then  we have failed  to tap the  strength  that comes   by looking up.What  could  be the lost opportunities  that make many  to go into  depression or even  try to end it up.

1   Loss of  love

Humans go  through  pains when  they  lose  love.It  comes in different  ways  either  in courtships or marriages.Sometimes  young people  are in courtship with the wrong people , but  the loss of such relationships  might be  a  way of getting them out of bad marriages ,future sufferings  and danger.Some of them  go on to end it up without knowing  that they  can  meet somebody more lovely or better.The  heart ache of losing love  is  very much,  but   it is better  to love people  and leave  a little  bit of space  in our hearts ,to accommodate  disappointments gracefully especially during courtships,  because human  beings can  change  within a little while. Unless  you are already  married  to someone,there is no guarantee  that  they  will  not leave you  for another  person,  so  it is better to leave  room  in ones heart,  in case the person leaves  or changes  his/her  mind.But the good news is that  you can always  meet  someone, who will  not leave you no matter  what  happens or the pressures to break the relationship.

2  Losses of  jobs  or  job opportunities

One of the things  that cause  people heartache, is  the loss of  jobs  or  job opportunities.Maybe one  may have to  stay  without earnings  when this goes  on  and it could be part  of  the cause of  cycles  of  financial  losses.This  could be an opportunity  to have some rest,  while looking for  a new  job.Sometimes  people are  not strong enough to stand such losses , because  the job was well paying , with  good opportunities for travel,good  pension packages  and shopping  opportunities.Some  jobs  come with perks like  being helped to buy  houses ,cars  through  work discounts,which  could make life  easier.Sometimes  we  might get  jobs that we  think  that  we  will  retire from,  because  the companies  are  good.But  arriving  at work to be told  that one is not wanted , could be  a source of financial  and  emotional sufferings.Waking up the  next day , to tell  your family/friends  that  you  will  not be  going  to work because you have lost the job, can be embarrassing  . The  jobs were great , but no one  is born  together  with   a particular  workplace.It could be  an opportunity  to retrain  and  be ones own  boss or move to other things have a break or  go on holidays.Of course many have done that and  found that  more rewarding  .

3   Losses of  cycles  of friendships

Sometimes  people lose their cycle of friends  to moving  away from an area,to misunderstandings due to quarrels, gossips  among ones friendship  cycles,misunderstandings  caused  by  failed  businesses among friends  or  because  our  friends now have   different views to life and  have  moved on and away.When  we are with  a friendship  group  we might think that we cannot live without them,but experiences  from  more older people  have taught us that  when our friends  move to other countries,even though  we can talk to the on the phones,  but  it could be hurtful  especially  when we are  celebrating special events like  Christmas  ,  birthdays or  wedding anniversaries.But people do move from one  friendship circle to another.All that they need  is to find people,  who share  the same  interests,hobbies and  views  about life.It is not something  to end it up  for.Some times  of solitude are meant  to  teach us to look up  and  not be too dependent on people.

3  Losses of  marriages

Challenging  moments come  when marriages  end.They  come with   total  disorganisation of family programmes,  financial losses and support,loss of emotional  support,loss of advice  and a shoulder  to lean on.It is better to work at  ones marriage  than to allow it to collapse.Sometimes people do  not value their  marriages,  until their spouses  walk away.When people separate  from their  partners  they lose  their friendship  networks,they  lose  financial  help  from someone close,they lose  stability  ,emotional  support,valuable  advices, someone they can trust  to always lean on,they lose help  around the  house  and a  shoulder  to lean on,they  lose  someone  to  hug ,someone  to hold without  being judged  by others,  so  it is better  to strive  and work hard  to be a good spouse and to make ones  spouse happy  and vice versa.When a marriage  ends ,it  ends with  so many burdens .Burdens of having  someone  who can help  you to pay  your bills  or  even someone with ideas  that  could help you in your daily life,it ends with too much  burdens  and the burden of having to wait to get someone new , who  one could  love and trust.But  people  who are constantly changes spouses , know that it is not a very  good place to be in.It  comes  with acrimony  and making enemies with  the families  and friendship cycles  involved.Assets  held  together  become sources of disputes  sometimes  and custody  battles  involving children are  not  always easy , as these  take years  to resolve  with  so much   heartaches.  Family  routines  are  broken,holidays  suspended  ,there are always  losses  very  irreparable  and  its hurtful to see someone  you  used to love  suddenly turned into  a  quarrel partner.The kids and their  routines are turned  upside down and it is  a situation  one has  to  avoid  as it is very damaging to everyone involved.It is  worst  when children are involved.Sometimes  hurtful  scandals   can come  up  especially  if  an unfaithful partners  behaviour ended  the union.What does  people gain from  cheating  or creating  scandals for the families involved,they  lose lots for no reasons.It  does not take  much to stay  faithful ,just a little  discipline and respect  for ones spouse.Looking  beyond lost opportunities  could help one to avoid  getting sick of high blood pressure which is a hard sickness to live with.Humans  do not live forever on earth  and it is not  worth it getting oneself sick, by thinking too much  about the cares of  life.It  is  better  to look beyond every lost opportunities, forget  about them  ,  move on and think more of gained opportunities even if they are few.Seasons do come and go,  but it is only those  who  understand  the mastery of life that  do move on.Dwelling  on lost opportunities  helps  no one.Sometimes  there are people whose  work is to test other's  patience  and they have sent  many  people to the world beyond, before their times,it is better  to work  beyond  those kind of people  and  their games.As a parent one needs to be well enough ,to look after their kids and falling  into  some of these negative places  does  not help  those around people,who benefit  from  you being healthy and strong.Because there are many  people depending on you,you actually need to make conscious  efforts  to live  above  such moments,put together  by people who actually  do not care  about how other  people  are feeling.It is better to move  away fast  from unprofitable  situations  and moments, as they  do  propel  entire families into states of hopelessness.Find  strategies  that  could  help you to move  on and  away  from unprofitable  situations or people that  are not adding anything good  to you and your family.Looking beyond lost opportunities  is a  survival mechanism  and one has  to chose  hope  above despair,  to   move on and away  from such  moments  and places.Hopelessness is the bane of survival through difficult moments,  orchestrated  to disorganise and destabilise  family networks.Having the ability to recognise  such  orchestrations  and move  away  is  good,seeking  counsel  from those who have knowledge and mastery of such events of life is  a sure way to move on.As humans we could be thrown into diverse  situations  but looking up and moving on is  a great survival  mechanism.Depression  do only worsen bad  situations  so it is great to  look up , look to the  sunny sides of life and always stay with positive people  who have  great counsel for people  going through diverse  situations.It is good to run away  from bad  and negative counsel.

4  Losses of one's  home

Having a  room  over one's head is  a  way  of  ensuring peace of mind,stability at work,a  stable bank  account  and  a stable home address.Funny people ruin others  by throwing them around  so it is better  to  find  a permanent place to live in to  avoid the  burden of homelessness,panic  and running about like  someone in hot pursuit.Running around  will  never help you with your bankers  as the  banks  a wary of  customers  who are constantly  changing home addresses. You will never  find it easy  with  the lenders  and  those  helping people  with  money to start  businesses.Constant move of home address  is the bane of wealth creation  and many people have lost so many valuables and family heirlooms  moving about.It is  better  to start  saving for  a proper  home  before  getting married.A  couple  intending to marry can join funds together to  buy  a stable home.Progress could be hampered  as people  move  about and  remain at one spot till they age,looking back to years  of  scrapping or not going for  holidays  because of moving about with bad  memories for the children involves.People  move  and lose good  friendship cycles and  they sometimes lose valuable  letters  sent to  old wrong addresses.Job opportunities could  be lost  through  job offers  sent to ones old addresses  and sometimes  financial  letters  are thrown into bins  by  new owners  unaware of where  to reach you. 

When people  get older  they tend to think about how they spent their  times  and the  heartache  starts  when one  thinks  about every lost opportunities.It is better  to move on and not  look back  as  it is  an unprofitable  business that  could  lead to illnesses  and  some people  place huge blames and quarrel  with others  which is something not needed  as one gets  older.

GRACEFUL

The  negative psychological impact of  isolating oneself  from others and  why diversity  is good for  communities.

by  Chinyere  Nwakanma Tues  01  June 2025 at  01:07 pm BST·15-min read

People  like  associating  with others, feeling  loved and  accepted by friends, family and associates brings good  health and helps to improve people's  mental health state. It actually  does make people  happy.  People  who have  that feeling of a  general  sense  of  acceptance and feel good personalities , achieve more for themselves and  society  and they live healthier lives. That is what most  artistes who latter  become famous and successful have, because  they love what they do, are confident, feel loved  and free to share  what they are doing with others, without that fear of  being condemned  or being told  to move away and go out of  circulation because they are not good  enough and subsequently pushed into a life of poverty or becoming mentally ill people due to  depression caused  by lost opportunities, friendships and professional  networks  and sometimes heavy financial losses  due to misinformation being spread  about them. Good networking is the key  to  selling  ones ideas  and products and  subsequently  becoming financially stable  which helps people to live  very good  stable happy lives. Successful people work to  bring joy to  others. Being joyful  comes from having good friends, professional colleagues, community friends  and family networks. There  are  lots to lose  when people are ostracized  from their own  networks of friends, professional colleagues  and families because of people  people who are  running mischief  around others . They make others  to lose the needed  shoulders  to cry on  when things  go  wrong and they make people  not to  have  no-one to share their joys with when they are celebrating. It is  an awful place to be. Such a  situation  can have a very negative   psychological impact on people  and  it is not good for the general mental wellbeing of communities . Sometimes  it  could have  very negative impacts on people's mental health, their  productivity  and their  general  well being. I've seen  what people  can achieve if  good knowledgeable  family members or friends   give   them good advice  on their  finances, marriages  and career  directions . Many  people  who have  not spoken to  their families  and friends  over years are the most unhappy people. Such situations arise when people  gradually  gets  left out from  family events  invitations, because they travelled  out of town, quarrelled  or  could not  agree anymore with those  who love them.  Suddenly they are  no longer calling  or asking after  their families  and then it becomes  the norm. The things causing family and community  quarrels are just minute  issues , that  bring people to those points of not answering phone  calls  from extended family members or friends because they  just want to stay away and alone over  hearsays  from people  who  do not  really  care  deeply about them ,who they will not see in few years to come  and who will never be there for them when they fell  sick or at  old age. It starts  by a desire  to stop associating  with people one love, due to little baseless gossips. This  is something that is  not good especially for the middle aged and elderly. Community  cohesion  is very  good  and  celebration times are what make  life great. Sometimes people  try to make others to feel ashamed of their own family members. Sometimes  you will  be surprised  at  people   who ask others not to be with their own families  just to take advantage of  them. They make others to feel  inadequate because of  their  own personal interests. They  make  the vulnerable to enter into shells making them to to become lost or  ostracized from society. It   starts  mostly  through people  fuelling unneeded  rumours  about others, making those  involved objects of insecurity, vulnerabilities  and they  end  them in psychiatric hospital wards , because of little foolish whispers  in  social circles and they feel  that  it is better for them  to stay  away from those who love them than integrate  with  them. But such  decisions  to stay away  is not good  for people's mental health as people  need love  and acceptance  to thrive as humans .A healthy society  is  a place where people feel loved  and  accepted, where  people come together to dance, clap and chat. A place where people relate  well without  having  a feeling  of not  being accepted .Even  on social media  which  is virtual sometimes  it is amusing when people's  names  pop  up  and  you are asked  to be careful  about them,  based on little  "misinformation" from the people circulating negative things  about others , based on pressured events. It  is good to stay  safe, but not away from innocent  friends and families,  but some  people  are going to extremes   trying to stop  people  from associating  with others.This is  unhealthy community and social packaging, due  to lack of  empathy, love and an understanding  by people  who have rigid views  about others  based  on  prejudice, with unneeded negative information being circulated about  ordinary people just  to feel  superior  due to childishness and some  people's  inabilities to move with the times is not helping societies. We are in a modern world , as the world  has moved on  with the  advent  of  the social  media  and  video mobile  phones .It amuses me that  some people  will  see others standing in front of them and they are looking for other negative  things to say  about them. Here  is someone totally innocent  and totally oblivious of any wrong and he is circulating  misinformation   about them, based  on bias  and  prejudice .Such  situations have  made so many people  to decide  to stay on their  own, rather than endure being whispered about by  strangers and when they meet  difficult  situations, they run into  depression and diverse  difficulties, because  the  networks  they need  to thrive  have been removed from them and they live  life enduring pain and hardship as they have become  socially ostracized by pride  and prejudice the sister. Some of the  young people  find it hard  to socialise  or even find  a partner  to  marry because of the  fear of others, which  has been rooted  into  them by  people  circulating rumours and lies  about others. And they leave people wondering  about their  single status , since they are handsome rich good eligible bachelors  and beautiful spinsters .And many who  have the negative tribal  indoctrinations engraved in them,do  miss out  on friendships and business networks as the internally  engraved  negative   teachings about others  ,have damaged their abilities to love and interact with others. They  become the ostracized  singletons,  who everyone is  trying to reconnect with people just to get them to find love.  Love  for them becomes  a mirage  conditioned  by society  and those they met  while  growing up. Such  situations  can be psychologically draining  and many people  are not married  today, because  the people  they met that love them were  removed by those around them. Sometimes  people  find all the would be partners brought  by their friends and  families not   suitable  for them. Sometimes it just one family  member  frowning  at someone brought  by a relative to  marry. It amuses  me that people  can actually ask someone they love to move away  because  another  person does  not like them.I  always  have this feeling  that they  really  did not  like the person  enough,  as no pressures  can break  up  true love.At the end of the day  when they  grow old past their marital  age,  they will  find  out that their families have moved on with their own lives  and they cannot redeem  the times lost or the lost love. Their  families leave them by error ,to be in lifelong search  for  love  and  someone to be with at old age ,which  is  a situation they will  face alone with all the future problems  associated with their  mistakes. And  such  situations  do actually  have   very negative impacts on people's well being  and mental health. Diversity and inclusion through interracial marriages  is beautiful. I have  scores of  people I  know,  who never  settled  with the people they love ,because their  families  did not approve of the  people  they  brought home. Such people  go through  serious life impacting traumas, because they had  to  say goodbye  to someone they truly love because of  family  pressures. I find it quite  amusing  that  parents  do succumb to the pressures  of letting their kids marry the wrong people, just because of interracial prejudice and acrimonies  based on race, leaving the people  they truly  love to  stay  lonely  all their lives, because of flimsy  excuses from people  trying to please their friends,  who will latter  move on and away into their own beautiful  lives. They want their  circle of friends  to accept who their  children are marrying, which is irrelevant to finding love. Such people go through life feeling the pain of  leaving their lost love and they always find their partners not good enough for them, leaving a gap  inside their hearts .You will see those ones marrying and divorcing many times and dating again,  trying  to find someone similar to the person they missed. I believe that it  is being insensitive to tell ones  children  to move away from someone they love and who  loves  and cares  about them ,who they will find true  fulfilment  with and  who will make them happy just because of some little  silly flimsy excuses , based on what irrelevant people feel  about a would  be union or will say.At the end of the day only few parents do live with their kids after marriage. I  still  find it amusing that  even with  our civilisation  such  scenarios  still  exists, with many being told  to desert love for  unneeded  societal pressures based on bias, folktales, pride and prejudice.  Diversity means  accepting others  despite  their  races and colour. Most  things people  do  in this  area , boils  down to trying to please others which  they will  latter find out that  it does not really matter  with time and age. True love conquers all things. Living in a multidiverse  neighbourhoods over years in London  have made me to understand that  the thin divide  between  the things that make us different is  not as wide  as we feel. But having  an understanding of who people are , will  help us to understand them, accept them and  get along with them. It baffles  me that  someone will not like others  simply because of race. That is having  a thin unreasonable  way of thinking which is not healthy for society. Not liking others because of race  is being myopic,  because  human beings  are not very different from one another, its  just people's  belief  systems based  on where  they were  born. And no one  has the ability to  determine  where  they will be  born, everything is done by providence. I believe London is doing well in the area of integrating  people  and it is  something that have kept  many people healthy  and feeling belonged  . Those causing  others pain by telling them that they do not belong, have failed to understand the love that transcends races and languages. But  any society  where  people  move  freely, interacts with one another  without  prejudice is  a very  healthy  society.  Parents  who  deny their children the joy of being with the people they  love because of race are making grave mistakes,  because  we are all the same products  of providence  and creation.

Chinyere  Nwakanma  writes  about  how  capitalism has  made us to forget  about the simple things of life

May   21  2025 20.55pm  BST

I  happen to be someone reserved , with  many conservative views  about  life, which  is one of  the nature  of the people of my own time. But  I  became drawn into   the world of capitalism  , which  some of my friends    are  also stuck  in.And life became more about what you can  get and  what you can acquire , which    made all of us to  join the panicky life of meeting deadlines and meeting times, of which  I am not against  those who have chosen to embrace the rat race to the point of forgetting  about beautiful family moments  .I actually  used to think that the  24 hours  a  day  was  too  small  for mankind  to  do  everything that they needed to do.Nightshifts, dayshifts,weekend shifts  became my best friends, standing at the train stop alone  by midnight became  a habit after working    and  sleepless nights  of work took a toll on me.  Fatigue and lack of concentration at the  things I used to do became my friends  . I started looking at  what I could have  , rather than what I could do for others. Capitalism is the root  of every selfish living,  of which  the thought of  getting everything , gets us  

consumed with greed,  when we fail  to keep  the boundaries by  separating needs from  want.And sometimes  we fail to understand that others  exist , because  we are too busy  to see the humans  in them.Our caring attitudes to others  disappear  and we begin to see them as objects  and even numbers.We  see them as  data, not humans  walking down the streets , just objects  to  satisfy our  capitalist tendencies,  because we have been driven away from the realities of being human  and the warmth that comes from  family relationships  and  having relationships with others.This is the reason  why our  cousins drift  away  to the point of  thinking  of ending it all ,  because they think that they are alone in this huge wild world, when they should have our arms around them and a  shoulder to cry on when  pressed by the  problems  of life.We  seem  not to care for  anyone  anymore  or think  about reaching out to others, when we become consumed  by the greed  of capitalism.We  become objects of quarells  and  antagonisms,  rather than  humans full of love.Our lifestyles  become that of   dragging things with  others  and even our kin ,those dearest to us  and family gatherings  become  aliens, but they are  supposed  to be the most important  parts of  our lifestyles.Family  becomes  far away  people  and sometimes  we  embrace the folly of seeing  our families and those who love  us as enemies ,when they are not.We are    frail humans, born with with  the  abilities to embrace love  and compassion,  but when we get drawn into  capitalism   we  become species with no care for anyone  except   our selfish  inner  selves craving for more.Everyone  we see  becomes  an  object  to help  the   expansion of  our  financial books,  rather  than  friends,  sisters and  loved ones.Being relaxed and contented where  one is,  is a good quality  that  helps one to live a life  of  less worries  and  anxieties.I am not asking my readers  to become hermits ,but if  one feels that  her  capitalist  circles  are bringing  her anxious  moments, that the crowd  with you runs you out of steam, leading to  constant   anxieties  then  it is better  to withdraw, to keep your mental  health clean and return when you can think properly  but maintain  close relationships with your friends,untill  you can think  soundly rather than getting to the point of  having  a mental breakdown  which  could  lead  to  so much  losses  and  sometimes  ridicule  from those  who  do  not actually  know you.Pressures  are not good  for  productivity  and  capitalism makes people  to lose the  essence of living,  hence  our angers and frustrations  about those around us.It is this capitalist tendencies that lead to  relationship breakdowns,  making sisters  to point accusing  fingers  at their brothers,  as the sources of their  bad luck or vice versa,dragging whole circles  of families and friends  into bickering  and shows of no love , while the world watches on. Writing Graceful  has helped me to  have an understanding of the lifestyle of reaching out to others  in true  love  and  seeing them as humans  with frailties .I  used to have  this love of wristwatches  and I   tried to  see  if  by acquiring  too many  wristwatches, my endless  and constant  cravings  for  seeing  wristwatches   at the shop windows will end.I bought  all types of  wristwatches,  until  my cravings  stopped  and I  have come to see  the futility  of  asking for more, more, more  of which those  around me found very  strange ,being  part of the rat race of  trying  to  get more  ,more ,more  and  putting some in the potholes  and that does not bother me anymore.I have come to an understanding that contentment is gain  .I am not asking my friends  not to be  ambitious,  as I  have  always  encouraged the young  ones to aspire  to achieve.But when one fails to see the beauty  of our world  and  the opportunities  given to  us to enjoy  what we have,because of  capitalism by dragging things  giving to us   freely with others, it becomes a  problem .Nobody brought  the goldmines  and oil blocks to the world.Everyone  saw them  when they grew up and became adults  ,we happen to own our oil blocks  by   being born into  a  particular  region  of  the world where  they were  born,which we had no  choices of determining our ancestry, we are where we are through grace.The  person who   fails  to embrace the beauty  of  the  blessings around us, is missing out  on the beautiful moments  of life as aging comes  quickly  and suddenly.The person  passes the streets  without thinking about the  builders of the  houses,those who clean the  streets  ,those  who tender the grasses and those  who make our environments clean and  fine.All  he thinks is  the   making of more ,more more.Some of the gardeners do their jobs   without thinking about how much they earn  because they do   their  jobs as   their passion, which is their  calling  to help our world to stay beautiful.Doing  something people love brings people to   places of fulfilment , but those gripped by Capitalism ask people  how much they have made  doing what they love to do.That is why  many people  do not enjoy their jobs  and they  leave their places of work  miserable and   enter  a life of depression , some  spiralling  out of control  to  the point of  ending it up,while everyone  screams and ask the reason why that has  happened to him. He was on his own solitary  life , surrounded by many but with no-one.Despite the millions he  was making ,he never enjoyed his  work.He missed his families and friends  and his mental health  was impacted by the pressures of his work  which was  not the lifestyle he wanted to live.He craved for   solitude, he craved love and family times.But he had the endless  crowd  and the pressures of life with him.He got tired  and decided by himself to exit without any reasons  on his own.That is what capitalism can sometimes do to people  who are detached from love and family life.From the time  we were little  until now ,our world has changed  with many overlooking the simple things of life, while  asking for  more, more, more.

Image   credits  Graceful magazine/Graceland Books  and Allied

GRACEFUL

Author Chinyere Nwakanma speaks about her new book and new award nomination 

August   24  2025  20.39p.m   BST 5min read

Children's writer and Playwright Chinyere Nwakanma speaks about her new book and being nominated for Net Zero Hero Award- FIN Best of Africa .The multi award winning London based Playwright, Poet and children's writer tells her fans that she  is excited  about  her new  book  release  and the  book   will  bring  laughter to   kids  in reading  rooms. The book  title is  -A  Tale of the Penguins and the great elephant fall  by  Chinyere  Nwakanma I.S.B.N  : 9781036917494  Publisher-Graceland  Books and Allied   June   2025  which  she  described  as a very  beautiful  book that must be read, seen  and be shown  around. She pleaded  with   her fans to  buy  her new  book  to encourage  and support  her. She pleaded with those who love her styles of writing to buy her new book and help her to continue her works. She thanked all those supporting her through the years, especially those buying  her  books and those who gave her multiple awards, telling  everyone that  they  are greatly  loved  and appreciated  by her .She told  her fans that the future of books and libraries  is in danger  of being annihilated by those  blocking  people's  books   and  hampering the circulation of  beautiful  pieces  of  artworks because of prejudice  and  people  who  do not  appreciate  the hard work  involved in writing  and producing new  books. And this is  not good  for the  future  of books   and the  youngsters  hoping  to continue the legacy  of books  and the  libraries. She told grapevine  that  most  writers are afraid that  in the near  future, there  will be no more  books, as picking up  a printed book today to read  has become  like  climbing  Mount  Kilimanjaro for the  young  people, which is not good  for the  future  of books.  She tells her fans that  being nominated  for  the FIN  AWARDS  gave her the strength  to sit up  and pen her new  book and  she  is  grateful  to  her  mentors  and all those encouraging her by buying her  books  and magazine writings.