Courtesy   Graceful -All  images are  for illustration  purposes only

I was  speaking  to  a friend who is sick and  I felt  pain in my heart when  she told me about  her darkest moments , going through  the pains  caused  by her ailment.She told  me about being weak and not being  able to  go out at  those  moments.I  looked at my weakest  moments  and told her to cheer up.Cheer up even if the  moment seem to be dark.Cheer up even in your pains.Cheer  up because you are loved.Cheer  up  because there is light through  every dark tunnel.You may look at your children  and be thinking  -Oh what will happen to them if  things do not go well .Cheer up and look towards a positive  outcome, because that  is how to beat the blues.Cheer up because  you are  precious to everyone that know you.Cheer up  because they also share in your pains.Cheer  up because you are not in that pain alone.There are crowds of people  who  feel the pains  with you.I saw her  recently and  my heart skipped. I saw that  she has started moving away from  the thoughts of her weaknesses. I  saw in her  the strength to move on  despite what is happening around her.I looked at the psychology of pain and realised that  it could be that at that dark moment she was giving up.But she picked up herself again and the strength  to move on came too.Most times as humans  we are very emotional about things .That is the reason why we are  always crying and asking  the question-Why me?.Sometimes  our darkest  hours  seem to be big ,because we seem to see the gigantic  mountain in front of us.And we make terrible mistakes  at such moments  by being  in a hurry to sort ourselves  out .But  every such moments  is to make us better people.At the end of it all we will learn empathy love and hope which are  virtues that will help us  to  be humble  and humane.But  years  latter,we will realise that  there was actually  no mountain, but our   eyes and heart  seemed to have played  us.That is the reason why we are just humans.Actually it has happened to me so many times, when I  thought in the past  that a situation is  so huge and insommountable.But years  down the line ,I realised that  all that I needed was a simple guidance to overcoming the moment,which could have helped me to react in a different way.But as humans we  are not able  to see beyond the present , but  we can always stick to  the positive thoughts to help us overcome.The pressures  of living have engulfed many  people  who thought that  those moments  are unsurmountable but those who took the route of hope triumphed.Cheer up and let your  loved ones cheer you on  and up.You are  a champion  and will overcome.Do not succumb to defeat.There are many things to  look up to.Think about your family,friends,wife,husband ,children ,uncles  and aunts.There is a crowd out there thinking about you  and hoping that  you can stand up each day and think that there is something to be here for.Keep hope  alive and soon you will realise that there was actually  no mountain as you thought and you  will always  look back and think-why did I  ever  worry,why did I ever despair.Cheer up as we are cheering you on,even in our secret places  and hope that  you will overcome your pains and trials.Your heart is interwoven with so many  hearts , who care for you and what  is happening around you.And each they  you give them a positive news  about your seemingly dark moment they  are happy that you are keeping hope alive.Cheer up as this moment will soon pass. Laughter  is  a medicine that heals the bones.

Graceful

How does low body image  and  self  esteem affect children and young people?

by   Chinyere Nwakanma

 Monday  08/06/2026 00:39  BST   15mins

A  mother encouraging  her  eighteen year  old  daughter   who  just started  working.

Video  courtesy -Graceful.All  images  are  for  illustrative  purposes  only

One of the  problems that  affect children and young  people negatively  is  low  self  esteem  and negative  body image  problem and this  is part  of   what leads to many failing  latter in adult  life.As  adults  those  affected  avoid  serious  networking meetings that  could  make  their  lives  better  and  they  do  not  turn up  to  work  appointments   and  interviews. Children  are  negatively  affected  when  negative harsh  words are  spoken to them  about  their  body  images, about  their  families  or  about their  school  grades  which can sometimes lead to them  having  poor  behavioural  problems and school  failures.Even  when  children  are  failing ,it is  better to  encourage them  with  positive  words  that  will  help them to  keep striving to improve  on their  school grades  , behaviours and general performances. Be  the  cheerleader  to the  young people  around  you  even  when   they  are under performing.It  is better  to tell  them more about  improving  than  showing them  their failings  and  how  relatives  became  failures.Let them  know  that  they  can  do  better.People need  confidence  to actualise  their  life  goals  otherwise  they will  become failures  in marriages,  work  life  and  businesses. Many  people  do lose out  on opportunities  given  to them  because  there is  an inbuilt  not good enough  personalities  handed  to them  earlier  in life  by the  adults  in their lives,which  makes  meeting  new people  difficult  and they  resort  to living  in  their  comfort  zones  of  exclusivity  and  lack.People  wonder what  is happening  to  such people  not knowing  that they  are  psychologically  damaged  people.Lack  of  self-confidence  and low  self   esteem  are  part  of the  reasons  why  so many people  do  not  do  well in life.But  kind  words  from families  and friends  do  help  a lot  in getting  people to improve the way  they  feel  about themselves.Many  people  have  suffered  image  problems  as  teenagers  which have  led  to them not  being  able  to  find  any ideal  marriage  partner or  friends  .Such  people  are  socially  ostracized  from  people  of their  ages , because  they  were  told that they  are  not  beautiful  or  not  good  enough  or  they have  certain  stigmas  attached  to  them or their  families.It is  the  duty  of  parents  and the   responsibilities  of  other adults to  protect  their  children from  the  damages  of  negative  words,unkind name  callings   from  people  who are  insensitive  to the  fragile  nature  of  the youngsters or other  humans  .It  is the duty  of  parents  and family  members  to  remove their  kids  from  cycles  of  negative  words that  are damaging and could  affect  their  mental  health , erode  their  confidence  and  curtail their  chances  of  being  the  best  and  achieving  great feats  in life , through  making  good  partnerships and social  networking with  people  of  like  minds.  Being  shy  or prude  is not good  for  anybody as it makes  people  to  feel inadequate  and  some people  have  missed  out  on  chances  of  getting  good  partners  in marriages  or  businesses ,because  they  feel  that  they are  not  good  enough , because  of  inbuilt  feelings  of  inadequacies  caused  by   words  hauled  at them  by  insensitive  people  that they met  while  they  were growing  up.Teenagers  with  body  image  problems  can be  encouraged  by the more  mature people  around them  through  positive  words ,counselling and by  associating  with  positive people.It  is  a mistake  to place  teenagers  in circles  where people  are not  appreciated ,loved or  accepted  the  way they are or  where  people  are  not  generally  kind  with  words.Body image problems  can bring  psychological and  mental  health problems  to  people  in   their teenage  years  and adult  life if they  are  exposed  to negative  interactions.Poor  body  image feelings  can drive  young people into  unhealthy behaviours and it  has been  found through  studies that  children  with poor  body  image  problems  are  less likely  to take part  in  sports  and other  physical  activities. Pressures to be thin has been linked  to  depression  and  symptoms of  depressive  disorders  such as  anxiety. It has been  found  that  teenagers  with  low  body  images  are  prone  to the  consumption of  alcohols  and  cigarettes  as   ways  of  calming  their  nerves  while meeting  other people.Suicidal  thoughts and risk taking   in young  women  has been linked  to poor  image  problems. Some  young  women with  image  problems  have  been  found  to  be involved  in extreme  plastic  surgeries  and other extreme  beauty  regimes and body  enhancement  therapies  which  are damaging to the  body,  risky  and have  led  to  early  deaths  as a  result  of  extreme  botox  treatments and plastic  surgeries .A  child  can  remain  reclusive  and  not  be  able  to  join social  circles  that  can help them  to build  good  contacts for  businesses  and marriages,  which determine  how  successful  people  can  be  in life  through  networking  and  interacting with other  knowledgeable people. Parents  need  to  spot people  who  engage  other people's  kids  in  psychologically  damaging conversations and move their kids away  from them. Feeling  great  about  their  looks an  great  self  confidence   do  determine  how  teenagers  interact  with  others and how  they become  confident  as  adults  to interact in  different  network  groups. Teenagers  who  have  self  image  problems  have  lower  chances  of  forming  meaningful  relationships  with  others  and are very sensitive  about how  people  see them. They  fail  job interviews  and  do  not appear  during  job interviews , so they  find it difficult  to  secure  good  job  placements.Limiting  oneself  by developing low  self  esteem early  in life is  what  leads  to  poverty  being  in the  wrong  places  of  life,  living poor  and  working  as  mediocre and not achieving  ones  dreams in life. Walking  outside  ones  destiny  and living in limited potentials  are the  negative  consequences caused  by  low esteem  when  developed early  in life, but  identifying  this  problem  and   the signs  and  finding   cures  on time  can lead to  faster  recovery  and triumph  to  excellence.There  is  power  in  the spoken  words,negative  words  can  make  people to develop  low  self esteem  that  can lead  to  failures  and  losses.

Things that might help  people  who  are experiencing  poor body image problems:

• Remind your young person that they are beautiful  and  encourage  them to develop  inner qualities  which are more important and  found attractive  by others.

• Encourage  the  teenagers  to develop positive  great personality,morals, values, ethics, good behaviours, skills, passion, goals, ambition, friendships, hobbies, and interests in them.They need  to  interact  with  positive  people,who can help them  to become  better  people.

• Keep your young person focused on what  they  want  to  become,  how they feel, not how they look.

    Be  a  positive role model by being kind to yourself and others.

• Do not  be  judgemental  or  body shame other  people in front of  children and  young adults as they learn  from what  you do in their  presence.

• Set and work towards your own self-care goals and practise safe social  life.

• Encourage your teenagers  and young  adults to practise self acceptance,  the acceptance of others, kindness and compassion towards others and themselves

 Acquire coping and resilience skills by learning from the  experiences of others through studies  and by  meeting  the  experts and  coaches  .

• Acquire knowledge  on how to stop being  anxious  and   get good sleep after  each  day  and teach  the teenagers  by  good exemplary  lifestyles.

Seek pastoral support  for  yourself and your family  in times of need from  experts  and knowledgeable  people.Do not  assume  things  as  assumptions  can lead  to   late  remedy  and  recovery  of  difficult  situations. Difficult situations if  not well  handled  do lead  to  psychological  harms  in   youngsters  and need to  be nipped  in the  bud.Be  excellent.

Reflections

Graceful

Cultivating   a grateful attitude  for  even the  little  things and  everything around  us

by  Graceful  online  Team

Sunday  17/05/2026   19:43 P.M   10mins BST

Sometimes  we might  feel that  life  is  not fair on us.Life  maynot  give  people  everything  they  want,  desire or deserve ,but  people have  sons,  daughters, uncles, sisters, wives, husbands, nephews, nieces, brothers, inlaws, grandpas, grandmums, friends, neighbours, schoolmates , associates and ultimately everyone  has other humans. Life gave us  relationships  and people  to laugh  with  and that  is the ultimate  thing that  life  gave  everyone. Life  gave  people   family ,friends  and  associates.

Life  gave  everyone  something , but  as humans  we keep  asking  for  more, more and more.That  is  the reason why we all became nations of hoarders  and  we feel that  we are  entitled to what  belongs  to  our neighbours,  because  as humans  we are  mostly insatiable in nature  unless we  teach ourselves  to be  appreciative  of  what  has been  given to us and we regularly  ask  ourselves  whether  life  is fair or unfair  to  everyone.Sometimes   life do  give  us  the little  we feel  that  we have or  surprises,but as humans  we are surrounded  by unappreciated love,wealth and experiences.Many  times  we  hope  for  mighty  things,  after  so  much  good works, but  due  to  our  circumstances  or  who  we  are, we might  get  less than others  and the  amount  of  things that are lesser  than  what  we  expect to have.But  we need to  comfort one  another  and know  that  whatever  we  are  or have or happens  to us ,we   are on earth  through  grace and we  will  continue  to  keep  hope  alive , until  we  are  given  everything we deserve or desire.We  might give  everything  our  best  shots  and  even get  nothing for  all the good things  that we did,but there  is  no need to  despair.But  in every  situation  there  must  be  something  that  we have  that  makes  life  fair.We  have  the  air,the  water  the  sunshine  the rain  given  to us  freely  and  these  can  never  be rationed  or  given  to only  few people,who  did not work  for  them.We open the tap  and  drink  as much water  that can fill  us and it does not matter  if  we are  affluent  or poor as you may  think,there  will  always  be  enough water and air  for  everyone.But we might be tempted to  say that  life  is  not  fair  because  of  some of the  negative  events that  happened to  us through  the  course  of  our  lives, but  we  live  on hope  that  even  if  we  did not get  what  we had  expected from life  today,we can always  get it tomorrow,  we are just humans that  do not  know much about what happens  to  us, but  we all  will  always  keep trying  to  give  life our  best  shot.Life  maynot give  us the  large mansions we  dreamt of and worked  for,but many have  lived  happily in their  small  huts,had kids  and  got  all things  done.Life  maynot  give  us  a   big mansion,a  large paycheck,homes in Hollywood or  Las  Vegas,houses  opposite  the  British Buckingham  palace,  but  we do  come out  on a good  day  and its  summer  to see the  beautiful flowers surrounding the palace and there  are  some  who  have  no  opportunity  of  seeing  the  beautiful  gardens of the  Buckingham palace and they  are still happy  that they  have  flowers  around them.Life  maynot  give  us a home  inside  the  king's  palace,  but we  do pass  some  mornings to  see the  flowers  in front of the palace  and we  can think of  all  things  bright and beautiful during  summer  as  we  return  from  work,play or leisure.Life maynot  give  us  a home  at  Downing  street , but  we  can  do with  seeing Downing  street  on our televison screens .We  see the downing street  cats  who are as happy  as  Harry on our  televisions.Life may not give  us  a travel   to  mount  Kilimanjero , but  we have legs  to  walk  down the road over there in  London  or  our  town  centres.Life  may not give  us   a home in  the white  house  but  we  have eyes to  see the  white  house  on television.Some were  born with no eyes to  see,but  they  clap  each  new  day,ferried  around by others,some hopeful that  one  day that  they  might  see.But  we have  mouths to  tell the tales of  what  happens  at  the white house , by  reading  the tabloids.Not everyone of  us is born to be  the President  and live  in the  white house , but  we  are born to  be  somebody  and the person that   we are- humans.Some  were born to  be  mere animals  and some  are  not humans  but  the plywoods.But  in all  everything and  everyone is here  for  a purpose  ,to  do  something for  the  world  to  be happy  and  a  better  place.Life  maynot  give us all the  assets  in the  posh banks, but  we have  food on our  tables  daily  which  was  given to us  by life.Even if we cry  that  we deserve more , but have little,  we  must remember  that there are people  who  do  not have  some of the  things that we  have or  live the  way  we live.Life  maynot land  us in the moon,the  Americas or Mount Everest,  but  we were  born  somewhere.We  might  be on our  beds to cry why  me,  until  our pillows  are  drenched with  tears ,only working and looking up  will change  our  fortunes as  human beings.There are opportunities  for us  to have  all the  comforts  that  we crave  for,but they  do  come with  times  and  seasons.But  even  if  we cannot  have everything  we  hoped for,we can  still be  joyful  to  live  with what  life gave  us as the  elephants  are born to be  in the  wild.Yet they  remain  fatter than us  with the  little  food from the  forest.They  do trumpet  and make  the  biggest noises  in the  forest  , even  with  everyone laughing  that  they are  the  fat  elephants.In everything a  good happy  life is  being happy  and  contented  in what  we have or are  today  and look  up to  a  greater tomorrow, for  we live  by hope  and through  grace.And on each  birthday  even  if there  is  nothing  to look  to , we  give  thanks  that the  sunlight  is  still  shining  for  the  world,the rain is  still falling,the  air  is still  there  for  us and that  we can look up to the  sky  where  comes  our  help.And  we give  thanks  for  every help  we  have  for  each new day, as  we hope  that  life  will give  us  sweets,turkeys ,bananas and lemonades.Most times  we might  say  that  we  didnot have  this  or  go here and there,   but when  we look  at  our  daily  lives  ,we  will note that we  all  live  on the same  things,  but  in slightly  or hugely different  ways and prices.We  all  live on  food,live in   houses  ,ride  in cars  ,trains  ,  buses or planes.We  all  wear  clothes,carry  shoes  and  handbags.But  even though  some of the things we  used daily cost  much, but  when  we look  deeply  as humans  we  go  on the  same cycles of  routine duties  daily , with some  doing  very  complex things  and others  doing  nothing.But whatsoever  happens,  the  globe  moves  around  with its  sorrounding planets  and their  activities  and  without  everyone  there  will be  no  earth.Life  goes on  no matter  where  people  are  and there  must  be  some reasons  to  be grateful,whether we  are  living  large  or  little  as  we  do think  as humans.There  must  be something  to  give  thanks , whether  our homes are in  Las  Vegas  or  London.

GRACEFUL

Do not always succumb to pressures to fail.

by  Chinyere   Nwakanma

Tuesday  12/05/2026   13:26P.M BST

Human   frailty  shows up when  people  think that  they are failing, due  to pressures, tiredness  and lack of ideas. There  are  some people  who   like to have  what belongs to others  and they  can  push  people to  fail through  human brain draining ,pressures and criticisms. People  fail  most times  when they cannot  overcome the  worries  from those  trying to take their  places that are urging them to fail.But be  an overcomer, be  a  champion and be successful.Even if you are  facing  the  times  when  being asked  to  succumb to  failure and move away for  others ,you  need to  evaluate  yourself  and  see  where you  are not  meeting up  and  make  amends.  Many people  have  left  their  marriages, jobs ,homes  or business premises because  of human pressures  from those  wanting  to take their  places.But when one  quits  that means  that they have  failed at a  task  that  was meant for  them  or  a  relationship that  was meant for them.Failure  comes  when  we did not give  our  best  to  do  what  has been  given to  us.It  could  be that  we are lacking  discernment  on directions  to  follow  or  ideas  to make things work or there  are  people who are with us , but  they  are  working beneath  to overtake us.It happens  in life  as  many of  us fail  during our  weakest points,when  we experience  burnouts  due  to  the  enormous  pressures  to  get  things right as we  are  humans.Most  people  do give up  at  such  times  because  of the  loads  of  distractions  given  to them  by those that  are coming to  take over from them.Not  everyone has  the  capability  to  stand  firm  when pushed  or pressured. But pressure  comes  when  there  are  people  lining up to take  what others  have  and  human frailty  means that  when people around  others  have  the agenda, they  can  do  anything  to  have  what  belongs  to others.There  will  be  enormous  challenges  around  the person  at  such  times  and  when  someone  has a vision of  what they  wish  to achieve  with  what  has been  given to them  to  do ,it is better to stand up  and  keep  moving  and not to  answer the calls  to  fail.An intelligent man or  woman  sees every  scheme  to take  what  belongs  to them  on time  and looks  up  for  guidance.It  is  only by  looking  up, that  any man  can  succeed  when there  are  crowds  of  people  working  to take  what  you have.And  from  history  many people who  succumbed  to the challenges  or pressures from people  trying to  take  their  goods,husbands,wife  and jobs  looked back  and felt  that they  would  have  given the  situation their best  shot by not  succumbing.Wherever  people  are there  are  always  people  who will  find  faults  and feel that they can  do  better  than everybody.But history  has shown us that  it is  not  always  the  case, because everyone has their opinions of what they  feel  are good  perspectives or  solutions to solving    every problems  in life.When  we come into places of  arguments we  will  see  our  abilities to reason differently, by  giving  our  own opinions  about  a particular  topic  and that  makes  human  brain and reasoning amazing  because we all think  differently.The  best  way to  beat  failure  is not to  quit but to  keep  trying  until  one  succeeds.But the  fastest  way  to  beat  failure  is  to learn  from the  experts  and the  knowledgeable  and  make    quick  moves to reverse  the  things  that led to one failing.If  I  am a school  principal  being  criticized  about running a   failing  school,I  will  go to my  successful  predecessors  and  seek  counsel  and ask them what they did to  survive   pressures ,during times of  calls  to quit.Many people  set  timetables  of  failure  for others  and they work at  getting  it done , when the time reaches they  will  gather people   and tell them  the  stories  of failures and all  the drummers  of  failures will  be  dancing  to the  exit  shame  of the  people  involved .The  exit strategies  have been made  for them some years  ago  but  they  did not make  plans ahead should  there be  eventualities.Many people  do  not  understand  such exit  drummers  and the reasons  why  they  dwell on getting  people  to fail  rather than helping  them to stand up  when they  are failing. But that is human frailty. The  worst thing that can  happen to someone is to get counsel from someone  that is trying to  make you to fail  and then take what belongs to you.There are many people  who trick  others into failing,but you  need  to identify them when  they  are  in your life  and  avoid  giving them  your  energy .If you are  working hard  and failing,then your  energy  is  being drained by the person causing you to  work like  a grasshopper  and be eating like  an  ant.When you  have  worked so  hard  over the  years  ,then you  deserve to  eat the fruits of  your labour.Do not  work  like when the monkey is working  to get the fruits out on the tree  and the baboon is on the ground  picking   the  fruits that are  falling off  the monkey to eat.The baboon can eat  some  but not  everything.The  baboon might be on the ground , making  distracting noises ,causing the monkey  to  be destabilised  while picking the  fruits  on the trees  and the  fruits will  be   falling    down to  the  baboon,resting  on the  grass to take and eat.Eventually ,when the monkey comes  down  from the tree  with  no  fruits  ,the baboon would  have already left with the ones  he  picked and the  working monkey  will  be forced  to go home  with  no  fruits.The monkey failed,  because he did not have  a strong  grip  on the  bag  that  he  was using to keep the fruits and did  not see that  it had  holes. And he did not bring or  enlist any of  his  trusted monkey  family  members  to  stay  on the  ground and help him to do the  fruit   picking.  Failing means  that  people  are  having leakages in their  lives  at  every  situation.Leakages  of  information  to the  wrong people  and places.Leakages  of  funds  and leakages  of  capable  trustworthy  workers ,friends, families  and colleagues. Leakages  of manpower  and ideas  to make things  to work.It  is better to surround oneself always  with  genuine people  who love  one  genuinely and want  the person to  succeed.If  you  are  taking  advice  from  someone  who  wants  you to fail  at  a task,then  you  will  definitely  fail. We have seen stories  of  some friends  who  took  their  friends spouses being shown  on social media.They  leaked  what  happens  in their  homes  to  friends  who  wanted  their spouses.Their  friend went  to  tell their  spouse  what they  told them.The marriage took  a very  nasty turn to  failure  and breakage.The husband  latter married their  friend.They  cried  about their  losses, but  nobody listened to them.It was their  friend  who  was pressuring her to leave  her spouse  that latter married her former husband,because  she listened to her  wrong  advice.She  accused them  of  betraying  her, but  she  became the loser  in the  whole drama.Her years  of hard work  was  taken away , because of bad advice from her  friend  who  wanted to take her  home.Sometimes  failing by leaving  ones  place  of  work  can be for  one’s own good.But  it is better  not to allow  pressure  to make  someone  to  be  sacked  from work or  marriage.

What to do  when  you  feel  that  you are failing

1  Focus  on  the recovery of your  lost  grounds and the recovery  of  your inner  self , that have  the strength that brought  you to the place  of  success in the first  place.Recover  from within  and  recover  yourself  from the  shock  around  you.Failing means that  you have been  weakened.Look for  strength   from within  and  above.

2  Lean  on those  who genuinely  love  you for  encouragements  and look up.Sorround  yourself  with  encouraging  words that  you can make  it  despite  the  turbulences.Hold  your  wife or  husband for  emotional  support,hold  your  family  and trusted  friends  for  support.Seek  counsel  from spiritual  leaders  and look up.As human  beings  we have  support  for turbulent times, when we look up and   tough  times do not  last  but tough people  do.

3 You  were  deemed  as good  that is  the  reason why  your  husband or wife  married you in the  first place.You  were  seen  as  the  best man or  woman  for  the  job , that is the reason why  you  were  given the job .People  trusted  you to do the  job  well.Reset and  reconnect  to the  people  who gave you the  job  in the first place  and  hold  firm  to  what has been given to you.Sorround yourself  with  support when there  are too  many  criticisms.

4  Work at  quick  recovery and  deliver the  best  at  everything  given to you to  avoid  losses  and  embarrassing  moments.Do not  give in to fault  finders  at  any point  in time  in your  life.Always  look for  your  cheerleaders  at every point  in time.Your  true cheerleaders  are  your true  supporters  and will  always  encourage  you to  a  place of  success through  good or bad  times.Always  redeem yourself,redeem the  lost  opportunities  to  deliver  and redeem the times.

5 When you feel like you are failing, dwell on having  compassion for  yourself. See yourself  as  a human being not a super power.Accept that  you  were  failing  but can  be  successful,by  reversing the events of the moment  through  hard work ,be objective  in  analysing  what brought  you to the place  of  near failure, and take  steps  to  recover  or redeem the   situation. See your failing  as  a stepping  stone to success and make  a leap  to  success.When  people are  failing  there  will  be many  others  to  highlight  their  failures , especially if  much  has  been  spoken about how  excellent they  were  before.So  many other people  might  the watching for them to make  steps  to failure  and they  will  drown their  successes  using  the  failing  music  and failing drums to  drown  anything  positive about them.But  when  people  come  to the point   when failure  is on their  faces  ,they must  remember that there  is  always  a second chance  to  be  successful  in life  and they  must  grab it  and make  success out of their  jobs, marriages ,businesses  and  everything given to them.Be successful. Be  excellent.

GRACEFUL

Be the best  version of  yourself and be  successful 

by  Chinyere Nwakanma

Monday  11/05/2026  21:54  BMT  10mins

The images are  for  illustration purposes only

Be excellent  and do not do things  as  men pleasers, but  be the best  version  of yourself  in  whatever  you  do, because if you are  thinking  about  getting much applause  from everyone,you will  be  disappointed  because  not everyone  will  share  some  enthusiasm about  you or your  works.But  be  the  best  version of  yourself ,for  yourself  ,  by yourself and  for others. Be  yourself  at all times , but be the best.Whatever  you  do, give it  your  best  shot  so  that  in later  life ,you  will  be  satisfied within you, that  you  tried  as  much  as  can through  grace to do everything given  to you to do.Be the  best. Be  excellent.

Being  the  best  version of oneself at  everything  one  does is  an art  that  could  be  learned  and could  be done with some  efforts. Sometimes  we feel that  being the  best  version  of  ourselves  is only about  helping  others,  but  it is  good  for  us also as  we  build up  ourselves and others  when  we  aspire  to be  the  best.There  are  situations  that  ask people  to fail  at  everything  but  on  the long  wrong  the losses that  come  from  being  mediocre  become   the owners.Everyone is born  with  the inherent  abilities  to  be good, kind, honest , hardworking, rich and vice versa , but everything  depends  on what  people  chose to be  for  themselves  or  to do by themselves. There  is  an inborn grace given to man to be the  best  they  can  be at  anything   and  another side of mankind that  is very weak  but it will  be  our  choices  to stay weak  or  strong,to be poor or rich and it  depends  on the  things  that  people do,  doing,the influences of the   associates ,the plans made for  the  future  ,  the  courses  taken  for  self improvement and to get knowledge , hope  and faith.The  weak side of  a man is what makes him to  fail  but  it is  the choices one make that mar  him or make him.One can chose to be rich or poor .Investing   monies  or  being  diligent at  work  are  what  make  people  wealthy  on the  long wrong.Success  comes from  hope  and  a  mindset  of  I can do it and  be excellent  through  grace.Pessimism  and  lack of trial  are  the two  things that influence people  not to try.There  is  nothing  that  beats  failure  than  to try.When people  have  pessimists  always  speaking to  them,they  stay  at  one spot believing that  everything  around them  will  fail.They  believe  that their  marriages  will  fail,their  businesses will  fail, their  faith  will fail  so  they  live  in fear and  worsen  their  paranoia by  associating  with those  who  believe  in nothing  but  failure. If other people  are  investing  their monies  such  people  will think  and speak more about the  prospect  of  making losses  and  will  never try. But to be able to succeed  in this  life , people have to be   risk  takers at investing  and be   the best version  of themselves  at whatever they  are doing  and  try to make the  right  choices in life by asking  people  who  are  ahead  and  knowledgeable  at  what  they are  trying to  do. People are  pressured to make  mistakes  that make them to  be  the  least  version of themselves  but it will  be  your  own decision to  be the  best  for  yourself  and those around you.Being the  best version of  yourself is  a choice  that could  be achieved  through  grace,hope  and building  that inner resilience  that says  no to mediocrity.Everyone is born with a weak and a strong version of themselves , but  people are  born with the will  to  stay  strong  and not to succumb to the barriers that keep everyone  down,poor  and with nothing.Chosing to be the  best version of oneself means  that one is  walking  as  an excellent person,who is not  making mistakes  and nothing  can be  done to cajole them into  failing. But everything requires  strength  and the willingness to stand firm when pulled and pressured towards  the negative  and  the  resultant  failures.

No matter the  stories you  hear ,  be  on the  positive  sides  of life  and  always  be the  best  version of yourself.

1   Set  goals  for  yourself,work  at  your  goals  and keep  working  until   you achieve  your  dreams  and  visions.When you fail,stand up  and console  yourself.There  are  many people  out there ,who laugh at others when they  fail.You will  only fail when you listen to them  and cry  .They are only there to  stop you .But  success will  come  to you when  you stay  focused.Be  positive.

Are  you planning  to  marry?

Start saving  the  little  you can  until  you have  put much  aside for  your  marital  goal. Look  for  a  wife  in the  right places, seek  the  counsel  of your  parents  or  any  other  adult  who  have  achieved  marital  success. Remove fear  and  find a wife  and  you may have  found favour  through  the woman  with you and  vice versa.People  might  say that marriage  is  bad  and it is  hard  to  find  someone good these days.Yes ,you may not  find  a perfect  man or woman,but you  will  find  a  human being.Look  for  someone  you  like their  physique,their  manners,their  associations ,their  jobs  and their  beliefs.Move on  and propose to them and do  so  while  you are young.Many middle  aged  and  elderly people still regret  that they did not  marry young as  time flies quickly.At  old  age  you  will  need the  company  of  your  wife and  children  and  vice  versa.Make that a priority  to  find  someone  while  you are  still  young  and build  a home  with  your  spouse.Stay  focused on your  life plans  and goals.

Are  you planning  to  start  a business –the earlier  the  better  and do  not keep it  for  latter.Find  an  idea  that suits  your  budget  and  work at  it.Educate  yourself  and start  immediately .Little  drops  of  water  makes  and ocean.Do  not  procrastinate.You  will be  surprised  at what you have  been  able  to  achieve  after  so many  years do  not wait  start  somewhere  little  and  grow  your investments.

Be  disciplined  and  consistent

Are  you  in a marriage?.Be  disciplined  and  faithful.When you honour  other people  they  will turn around to  honour  you.Love  your  spouse  with your  whole  heart  and be the best  at loving  your  spouse,your  kids  and everyone  attached  to your union. Latter in life  you will  be happy  that you gave  it your best  shot  even  when  tried  to fail.Be the  best.Are you  in business?,do not spend  your business capital  in pleasure.Spend  from your  gains  if you want to  succeed.And do  not induldge  in unneeded pleasures  while  starting  up  your  ventures.Spend  wisely  and be frugal.

Keep  learning and keep  growing

Wisdom  comes  from learning  by  reading successful  experienced people.Read  good  books  written by  knowledgeable  people  in every  subjects of  life. Keep learning and  keep growing in knowledge.

Be kind to  yourself  and  others

Be  kind to yourself  by  keeping to health  rules, dressing fine  and look  after yourself  while looking after  others.Kindness pays  as those  you  have  shown kindness  will always  come  back  to  give thanks.Even if they  do  not thank you,their  families  and  friends  will  if they  know what  you  have  done  for them.Take  up  every opportunity  to  do  good  to others.Help the  elderly  when you are young  to  do so because  everyone will  one  day  grow  old.Help the  sick and those who are  disabled  around  you. If you  are  financially  buoyant, help others  and  support  charities and community  projects.Always  give  back  when  you  are  rich  and  stable. Be  kind  to  your  family  spouse  and  children.

You are  only your limit

You are  only your own limit  by your own  thinking. You are  limitless.You  have the gift  to  be  a  gift to the  world.Use your talents  and build your  portfolio.When you fail  while  starting  ,do  not  give  up.Be the  best version  of yourself  until  you become  limitless.Remain  confident  and those  who  said that  the  sky  can only  be your  limit  ,have been there  before  hence the adage.But these days  people  have  been told  that the  sky  is  not the limit  ,but  there are always rooms reach to  the  sky.Aspire  to  achieve and work  by your  goals  and when  you are  old,you  will  look back  with  joy  at everything given to you to  do  that  you gave  them your best.Be the best and know that  you can  always be  among the  best.Be  excellent.  

Images  are  for  illustration only

GRACEFUL

REFLECTIONS

Finding Hope Through Difficult Times-A Journey Towards Light

by  Graceful  online Team

Republished   Friday 08/05/2026   1.22a.m  10min

A man  encouraging  his brother  to  cheer  Up- All images  are  for illustration  only

Life in all its intricate beauty and relentless unpredictability, unfolds in cycles with seasons of joy and seasons of sorrow. It dances between the sunlight of happiness and the shadows of hardship, often without warning or explanations. At times, we find ourselves soaring, filled with purpose and surrounded by love and stability. But inevitably, as part of the human experiences, we all encounter moments that test our strengths, shake our foundations, and challenge our beliefs about who we are and what we’re capable of doing. Difficult times are universal in nature, they do not discriminate by age, status, background, or beliefs. They arrive uninvited, sometimes creeping in like a quiet whisper of unease, and other times crashing down like a thunderous storm that tears through everything we once held secure. These moments can come in many forms: the heart-wrenching loss of a loved one, the relentless pressure of financial burdens, the sting of betrayal by someone we trusted, the silent battles with mental or physical illness, or the suffocating weight of personal disappointment and failure. At such times, life can feel impossibly heavy, and the world, once so full of colour, may seem drained of meaning. These dark chapters often bring with them a profound sense of isolation. It’s easy to feel like no one else can possibly understand the depths of our pains. We may question our worth, our purpose, or even whether we have the strength to go on. And yet, hidden in the depths of our despair—beneath the surface of our tears, our silence, our aching hearts, there exists a quiet but profoundly powerful force: “hope”.Hope is an act of bravery. It is the conscious, sometimes defiant choice to believe that despite the darkness surrounding us, light still exists, and that it is worth searching for. Hope is the steady flame that refuses to be extinguished, even when the wind blows and the night seems endless. It is the inner voice that whispers, “Keep going,” even when everything in us wants to give up. Hope does not ignore our pain; rather, it acknowledges it and still dares to believe in the possibility of better days. It fuels our resilience, nurtures our dreams, and offers us the strength to take one more step, no matter how small. Finding hope in the midst of suffering is not just an emotional response, it is a lifeline. It is the first step on the road to healing and transformation. Because in choosing hope, we open the door to growth. We begin to see that pain can shape us, not define us. We realise that our scars, though born of suffering, can be symbols of success and

survival. And in time, we may come to an understanding that even the darkest seasons eventually give way to spring.

Hope is always there, sometimes faint, sometimes bright, but always waiting to be rediscovered. And it is through hope that we reclaim our strength, restore our faith, and begin, slowly but surely, to rebuild the life we were meant to live.

 Understanding the Nature of Hardship

To find hope, we must first understand the nature of our struggles. Pain is often not just physical, it’s emotional, mental, and even spiritual. It questions your identity, challenges your beliefs, and sometimes shatters the plans you had carefully constructed. But hardship is also a teacher. It reveals the cracks in our foundations and offers us a chance to rebuild stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.

Pain demands to be felt, and ignoring it doesn’t lead to healing, it delays it. Many of us try to numb the discomfort with distractions, substances, or denial, but in doing so, we push hope further away. Facing the pain, acknowledging it, and accepting that it is a part of our journey is the beginning of finding a way through it.

 Stories of Hope: Real-Life Inspiration

History is filled with people who have endured unimaginable adversity and emerged with renewed strength. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning from within the walls of a concentration camp. He observed that even in the most dehumanizing conditions, those who held onto a sense of purpose something to live for were the ones who survived.Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison, much of it in isolation. Yet, he emerged not with vengeance, but with a heart full of vision, leading South Africa into a new era of reconciliation. His hope wasn’t just for himself, but for generations to come.These stories teach us that hope is not passive, it’s an active choice. It is cultivated, often in the darkest of places, and it can transform not just the individual, but entire communities.

in the deepest valleys of despair, there are steps (small, intentional, and healing) that can gently guide you back towards hope. While everyone’s journey is different, there are universal principles and practices that can help anchor you when the storm hits hardest.

1. Connect with Others

Human connection is one of the most powerful sources of healing. When we’re going through hard times, the instinct to withdraw and isolate can feel overwhelming. Pain convinces us that we’re alone, that no one would understand. But the truth is, isolation magnifies suffering. It echoes our fears and reinforces our sense of despair. Reaching out to others, whether it's a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or support group, can be a lifeline. Sometimes, the simple act of sharing your burden, of being seen and heard without judgment, brings immense relief. Connection reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggle. Others have walked similar paths and come out the other side, and hearing their stories can ignite sparks of hope within us that we thought were gone. Even a single honest conversation can open the door to healing.

2. Focus on Small Wins

When you’re overwhelmed by grief, anxiety, or uncertainty, the idea of turning your life around can feel impossible. In these moments, large goals or long-term plans may feel far out of reach, and that’s okay. The way forward isn’t always about grand leaps; it’s about small, consistent steps. Start with the basics. Getting out of bed. Drinking a glass of water. Taking a shower. Writing down your thoughts. Making your favourite meal. Each small action is a win — a victory over inertia, over fear, over despair. These actions might seem insignificant on the surface, but they are proofs that you are still moving, still trying, still alive. Over time, these small efforts do create momentum to move on. They help rebuild your confidence and remind you that progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.

3. Rediscover Purpose

One of the most devastating effects of hard times is the loss of purpose. When life falls apart, it’s natural to question why we’re here, what we’re meant to do, or if anything still matters. But purpose is often the fuel that carries us through suffering. It gives context to our pain and creates meaning in the midst of chaos.

Take time to reflect on what gives your life significance. Is it your children, your relationships, your faith, your creativity, or the desire to make a difference in someone else’s life? Purpose doesn’t have to be grand or world-changing, it just has to be real and personal to you. It could be as simple as being there for someone else, expressing yourself through the arts, or pursuing a long-forgotten dream. When you have a “why,” the “how” becomes less daunting. Purpose gives you something to live for

4. Look to Nature

There’s a quiet, restorative power in nature that words often fail to capture. When everything around us feels broken or unnatural, returning to the natural world can offer surprising comfort. The changing seasons, the rising sun, the ebb and the flow of the tides — all remind us that nothing in life is static. Everything is part of a cycle. Even the harshest winters are followed by spring. Spending time in nature, even briefly, helps us reconnect with something larger than ourselves. Whether it's a walk through the woods, sitting by the ocean, tending to a garden, or simply watching the clouds roll by, nature grounds us. It slows us down. It reminds us to breathe. And often, it reflects back the resilience we’ve forgotten we have. If a tree can lose every leaf and still stand tall, waiting for the next bloom, then maybe we can too.

5. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring your pain. It doesn’t ask you to pretend that everything is okay. Instead, it challenges you to look deeper, to find moments of light even in the darkness. Gratitude trains your mind to notice what still is rather than only what’s been lost. Start with something simplethree things you’re grateful for each day. They don’t have to be big. A warm cup of tea. A kind word. The sound of rain. The comfort of a soft blanket. When we begin to notice the small blessings around us, our perspective shifts. We begin to realise that even in the midst of our pain, life continues to offer beauty and grace.

Graceful

How to  handle people’s negative  reactions

by  Graceful  online Team

Friday  07/04/2026  19:26P.M  BST   10min

Dealing  with  the way  people  react  to us  is  a  skill  that  could  be learned  because  we are  born with  different  abilities to  absorb  shock  and everything  depends  on  how  we  grew  up  and  who  was  with  us  while  we  were  growing up  and the   skills we learnt  from  our schools and by reading new  books.While  some  people  grew  up in  calm loving home environments others  have  riotous  non  stable  homes.But  one  does not have  to  end up riotous,  the  way  they  were raised or  react  in very nasty ways  to  negative  situations as  humans  like pulling each  others legs just to  find out  how  they  will  react.It  is different  strokes  for different folks  meaning that  people  do  not   want  to hear  the  sob stories of  how  bad   those who  raised  us did that  made us to be  acting the way we  were  acting.People want to see   well  composed  persons  who  have  the  ability  to handle  situations  with  maturity  and calmness  which  many  people find  hard  to fit into , as  many  people  like  to  only  associate  with  excellent  people.

Have  you ever entered  a  room  for  a meeting  and you notice that  other people were frowning  Maybe  they  did not  expect to see somebody like  you there .All  you need  to know is that you are  here  for  a purpose  and  have  to stay positive  at all  times. You  are  in the meeting  to learn  or  meet  new  people  who  will  help to  improve  your life  and the  lot of others. Leaving  the venue  quickly  because  someone  frowned  when you entered  is a sign  that  you need to  grow up. When people  seem inclined to    negatively  stereotypes   other people  without  getting  to know them,  it means that they also  need  to grow up. Being  excellent  means  that you can  get  along with people , stay  calm  and absorb  their  negative  reactions  towards  you, but  they  will  definitely  like  you  if they interact  with  you and  find  out that  you are  an excellent  person. Stereotypes  means  that  he  has  concluded  that  you  are dishonest because  you are from  a certain  geographical  location known  for  behaving in certain ways.But  he can give  you some  benefit  of  doubt  and  speak  to you.When he  learns   more  about you ,he  will  be happy.But  you  need  to absorb the  shock  that  comes  fom people  who related  with  others  based  on  stereotyping  ,stay  calm  with them,treat them  kindly  even  when they are  not  and when  they  understand  you well,they will  definitely  show you  kindness and love  too.Being  mature menas  getting along  with  others  even  when they seem  to be nasty  and showing  them love.Having  an  It means  that you have  to  turn  up  to every  event  very  well  dressed  ,clean  and  looking  confident.Presenting  oneself  on a positive  light  does not mean  that  you are  a proud  person  as  many people  feel.You are  simply  a professional  person  trying  to be  your  best.Pride  is when  you think  that  you are better  than others  or  you  refuse  to  serve  others  because  you  are  assuming an  authority over them.But  wearing  beautiful clean  clothes  and  coming out looking presentable  is not  pride.That means  that you are  in charge of your personality  and can  be  trusted  to  handle  diverse  situation because you  are healthy  and sound.Stress  and mental  instability  menas that  one  can  arrive  to work or meetings  wearing  clothes  that are  not  ironed,smelling  not very fine,unbrushed  teeth broken handbags,shoes  and torn clothes  which  shows  an unstable  mind  and no one will  want to  give  you anything  serious  to handle.   When you meet people  for the first  time always  greet them  and smile .Even if they are people  who  do not  easily  like others your  smile  and confident personality  will  win them over.Stay positive.For  people  from certain regions  of the world  ,when people  upset them or treat them badly  the typical reaction  will  be  to  scream   back  sometimes  using obscene  languages  or charging into  a  fight  attracting  large  crowds  for otherwise  a minute  issue.Being raised  in such  places  does  not mean  that people  cannot learn how to  react  calmly  to people in  upsetting situation. It is more  dignifying  to take a breath  and think  about  a  situation before reacting.It is better to  walk  away  from any situation that  is meant  to make you to raise  your  voice  and your  blood  pressure.If  someone is  trying to put up a  fight,  it is more money  and time saving  to  work  away  than to run into  unnecessary  conversations  with  someone  who  is angry  at that moment.Be  calm  and remain  civil  when  confronted  by unreasonable situations.People come  out  everyday   with  situations   confronting them as  humans  and that affects  the  way they react towards  others.It is better  to get along with  others  even with their difference  in opinion  regarding  lifestyles.Everyone  reacts  according to  what they learnt  from those  who raised them up  and the  environment  they  lived.But  the  ideal  thing  to  do  is to  do to others what you  want them to  do  to you.Imagine  entering  a  grocery  shop  and buying  your  goods  and  paying at  the  self  checkout  and he  comes  in peeping at  your bag to  see  what you hae  and een  ask you for  your receipt.It is better to give  him  the receipt  to  do his  job rather than raising  a  dust.If he  sees your reaction and  how  civil you behaved  next  time he will  waive  at you  after doing  the  shopping.He does  not know  you but your  looks  meant  that he needs  to  see what you have.Keep  calm  smile  and  waive  goodbye when he  finishes.

Graceful

A Mother  is  not  Just  for  Christmas

by  Graceful  online Team

Revised Friday  07/04/2026  19:26P.M  BST   10min

Images  are for  illustration  only

If people go through labour, they will have so much respect for the mums. It does not matter if your mother is resident in New York or one interior village in Africa.Every mum went through the same process of childbirth, no epidural medication can stop delivery pains. I had my kids in the good hospitals ,but the process remains the same. Why am I writing this? By this time in 2022, I was travelling back from work and I saw an elderly mum crying by the road side in London. I stopped and asked her -what was the matter?. She told me that her kids told her that she is useless and that they want her to leave  the house for them and join the people living in the cold winter street-their own mother.I was actually shaking.She told me how hard she worked to raise them.I encouraged her not to lose hope that  she  will be  fine.We  spoke at length  as  to the  reasons why  she  needed to  stand  strong.Of course according to them,  mother did not buy them a house or a car or she is not set to leave ten million pounds  in her will for them, that is their thinking ,that  it was  not wrong for them to throw out their own mum into the cold winter.It is good to teach people to set their  priorities right, that these assets are not going  to be carried  away to anywhere .We need to have some human touch to our lifestyles and that could be her mistakes in not raising this awareness to her children from infancy. And I actually wanted to ask her if she  has been nice  to  their dad, as  kids carry  grudges  they had  from childhood   over to adulthood sometimes, unless they  are well taught to set  their priorities  right. I did not ask her  the question  because it will be embarrassing and hurtful for her   so  we hugged  and  said  good bye  to each other , with the hope that  she  will  be  sorted.  Mothers are not only for  Christmas.To come over and cook the Turkey for everyone every Christmas. Mums are not  Christmas Turkey Mums.