What to do stay upbeat  during  winter

by Graceful  media team

Friday   19/12/2025   17:40 PM  BMT

Children  playing  at the Ice-rink  .Video  courtesy  Graceland Books and Allied

Winter  is  a weather  that attracts mixed  feelings  from people . While some  people  find  winter  pleasant, others do not  like the  weather  at all. Many people  I asked  about their  feelings  regarding  December made me to know  that they  love everything  about the  season except the cold.Winter  peaks  around  January , but  what  makes  winter  not so favourable  to  many includes  the  lack  of comfort  dressing,  as many people  do not feel  great  wearing  piles  of  clothes to keep  warm .No one  can simply walk  out of the house ,wearing  few  layers of  clothes  during winter.Apart  from the  discomfort  that  people  find while wearing the  clothes ,   winter  clothes  can sometimes be  very expensive compared to summer  the clothes.So winter  is a season that  comes with so many expenses . But beating the blues means  that one can  start on time  to  prepare  by  buying  what you need ahead of time.The  Snow that  falls during winter ,makes winter  magical  ,many people  like  the  sight  of  Snow  and kids  like running about skating at the  ice  rinks.Sometimes  I do  buy my  winter clothes during early summer, because the clothes and shoes  are  cheaper  and I’ve made lots  of savings  in doing that.I simply keep the clothes in the boxes  just  to make sure  that I am lacking nothing during winter.Beating the blues  means  that one can walk out of the house  ,warm and well  clothed  at anytime. Many  people  also  feel  sick ,because of the  effects  of the weather.The flu  that  comes  mostly during winter  is not a friend to  many people.The  hospitals are always  busy  during winter and many people  find it harder to cope with  winter loneliness, because their  friends  do not like  coming around during winter.There  are not much movements  for  children  and the elderly  who  can only cope  with  travelling  in taxis  and buses.Winter becomes more unbearable  when it is also rainy.For  many  who are in business,things become  quieter  as people  tend to order  food  and items of clothings' online.The  shop keepers  see  sales diminishing  and outdoor  sellers may  not have businesses  to do at  all.Not everyone can stand in the cold  to trade  or  work  during winter.Moreoever the beautiful flowers are not there  as the plants  go into  hibernation.Some of the birds  chirping on the trees disappear, while  the other animals enter into their holes.

To  cope with the season , it is better to focus on ones job  and  do indoor  activities  that will  keep one upbeat.I use most  of my winter times to write  new  books  or study new  courses  online,rather than  sitting by the corner of the house  and moaning.Some people  do things like knitting,  producing new socks and items  of clothings  for themselves and their  families   during winter.Sometimes we feel that the days are  too short for  all that we  needed to do but  with winter  they seem to drag on.It is  good  to have some sleep during winter.It is good  to sometimes rest  and slowdown to  regain lost energy and health.Winter  becomes  a  blessing  rather  than a loss when we are  resting.We were  given winter  so that we can rest from  all our  activities.Instead of thinking that the  clock has been stopped  for our  beehives of activities  ,it is better  to see winter  in a good light.It is also good to make plans  of what  we will  do  after  winter.One could see that  many people’s  incomes are limited  or even stopped because of lack of  activities during winter,so it  is  ideal to save during  summer  towards the winter  season and few  months after  winter.In doing  so  one  may not fall into the difficulties that  come because  of the  weather .It is ideal to save  for winter  so that  one can have  things like  recharge cards  handy  to call friends  and wishers  incase of emergencies  especially for the elderly,it is good to have enough money for  heating  and  warm nice bedding  sheets and duvet,warm nice  shoes  scarves,cardigan  and even teas.Imagine  staying in the house without heating and under the duvets  with  no  stockings.Even with the stockings,the cardigans  without heating  people  cannot sleep  comfortably.One has to  have enough resources to keep topping up  the  gas  for the house to get heated and  without the heating  winter  becomes  nobodies  friend. One can engage in Skating, hiking, and exploring frozen landscapes.Going to  skate  in the  ice rings has been found to be  a leisure for children and the teenagers.For the mums   baking, reading, and preparing for holiday gatherings is a way to  stay up beat  instead  of getting depressed.Look up as unfavourable seasons  do pass easily but  learn to adapt.Having  positive thinking and being philosophical about  the season  can help one  to go through  it  very well.Thinking about  how we are missing our friends  and families during winter  can  get  people  into depression.If no one is visiting  to  stay  with people during Christmas ,some  people  can find that saddening, but  one must know that  seasons come and seasons  go,  but   we will  still  see  all things bright  and beautiful  ,  meaning that it is just a matter  of time  and we  will  see the sunlight  again.If  people  are able to save money,they  can take their  holidays  when it is  cold   and warm somewhere  else.Once  a woman  told me that all her winter days are  spent in the tropics,  which  I  found very amazing.There are always  several  ways to beat  the winter  blues but one has  to  look at  the  clothes  and lifestyle  they find  comfortable.People  who are  homeless  during winter  find that   it is not a good place to be so it is better to make  hay, while the sun is still shining by preparing for  ones  accommodation  during summer.Making the  needed arrangements  to be comfortable  ,before  winter  comes is very necessary  for  a panic-free life.

A  cold  London street  at Winter   courtesy  Graceland  Books  and Allied

WINTER

by  Chinyere Nwakanma

Friday   19/12/2025   17:40 PM  BMT

He comes

With his trade mark

Cold, chilly wind

He comes

Whipping everybody

With his sticks

Lashes of cold

From Old

Blowing in this globe

Winter knows

No friend

Winter knows

No gain

Winter knows no brothers

Winter knows no sisters

The mothers

Scampering

For their children

Covering them

From the cold, old winter

As I walked through the streets

Trying to catch a bus 

And to hold my bag

Trying to hold my jacket

And my inner skirts

I felt so heavy

And even Weary

Wearing four clothes

Just for winter’s sake

To please old winter

So uncomfortable in my body

Oh! Great old winter

You are not my friend

As the bus stopped

I jumped

Swift as I ought

Running before I get lashed

By old Mr. Winter

And his whip

Originally  published  in my book - The  beautiful  garden  poems  

Snowing  on the street   Credits   Graceland  Books  and  Allied

A  car  covered  by  Snow  in  London  Copyright   Graceland Books  and  Allied

GRACEFUL

How do I overcome depression?

by Graceful  media team

Thursday   04/12/2025   16:18 PM  BMT

Depression is a low mood that lasts for a long time, and affects people’s everyday life. In its mildest form, depression can mean just being in low spirits.  Depression does not stop people from living a normal life, but it makes everything harder to do and life can seem less worthwhile. At its most severe, depression can be life-threatening because it can make people to feel suicidal. Depression is a very unpleasant situation which many have gone through. Many came out of it triumphant, but many did get dissolved in the water of depression. It is better to avoid situations that will give you depression, but some life experiences can be so hard, that one cannot avoid getting depressed. Experiences such as bereavement, loss of wealth, money, career, jobs, marriages and relationships can make people to spiral into depression. When you are about to spiral into depression you need to ask yourself if you actually need the sadness. Writing about a failed marriage or relationship. Of course  you were “in love” with the man or woman   you married who could not respect you or the marriage so why will you go further to be depressed because she /he left   you.She/he actually came into your life and wasted so many happy     years   which you could have spent somewhere else with someone     else,     so why will you continue to live so many more years of your life thinking about them and the losses and what they did to you. You can actually do better by moving on and occupying your     time with something worthwhile. Some have committed suicide because of loss of love. They would have moved on.

They could have moved away from “friends” who are still asking them about their old marriages or relationships    to avoid reopening wounds in their hearts. There are so many people who believe that no man/woman is good enough for them to marry. Are they actually perfect. They are on the road to depression. If you come to the point of believing that your partner is not prone to mistakes. You will be in for heartbreaks and that is why so many people are depressed. But there is a way out.     When     you     are     in     a relationship, do not fail to know that you are with a human and there could be errors or mistakes.You are going to end up in a mental health clinic as a mentally ill person, if you keep dwelling on another person’s failures. Do not always expect too much from humans, because humans are prone to mistakes and always learn to move on and away from people’s mistakes and forgive them.

                         Be good to everyone you meet

If at the end of the day if the good remains not good enough you did try your best .But be hopeful that the best will always come out from your partner. But where they are failing, do your own part so that you will not blame yourself for a failed marriage, which can lead to depression. When a relationship fails, maybe there will be open doors for another better one. So look up and move on  Do not look back. Life is a continuous journey of moving forward; do not be looking backwards since there is always room for improvements in everything that you do. Did your former partner not like your looks, and then improve your looks for your new partner. Was he/she not happy with your cooking styles? Then learn how to cook better should you meet someone new so that the error is corrected on time before you get depressed thinking that no one wants you. Did he/she not like your dress sense? Even if you cannot afford expensive clothes, there are thrift shops and sales where you can get things that you can afford cheaper and still look gorgeous without breaking the bank. There is actually room for improvement to make your life a happy one.

                                         Look up and   move on!!

  Sometimes it is better to switch off and avoid toxic phone calls.If you are looking after a sick child dwell on faith and avoid people who are branding your child and getting you upset.Many people who were poor  yesterday are millionaires today, through hard work so why moan about a life of poverty. You can do better by working hard to get yourself out of the situation. Do not stick to time wasting programmes in your life. You are not trying to be accountable if you are still dwelling on your past failures and past events .You need to seek help and solution to situations that could lead to depression fast before they consume your time. There is always a way out of every situation, if you have a network of genuine people around you. It is always better to have faith than to dwell on hopelessness. We are not here by mistake. Did you lose your job? Well it did happen not because you were not good enough? But sometimes accidents do happen. Maybe the company need to make some people redundant because it was not making enough profit to pay the bills. So, some people need to be asked to leave .Why not train for another type of work?.

Train for a new skill to employ yourself so that you will be your own boss.Work hard at your talents and earn your own living. Of course when you start your new business, there will still be some people telling you that it will not work. Sometimes they can even tell you that so many people have failed in that line of work.They will line up reasons and excuses for you to listen to the reasons why you will fail. But there are still many people who are succeeding in that line of work and you can make yourself one of them. So why not be among the successful ones rather than joining the list of those who failed. There are so many excuses to be given for not trying and for failing, but you do not need to be among the people living that pattern of lifestyle, because you can do better. So be positive. For some people there is always a reason to fail, so do you actually want to join the bandwagon of people who are always saying that there is no way out?.

The loss of a loved one through death can lead to serious depression. But one can go through the grieving period and lean on other family members who are together in the grief. You can all grief together to make the pain less. If one’s family members remind them of the good things about the dead relative and the good things he/she did while alive. Such words can be encouraging and help other family members to move on and to heal fast.

Did the relative have children? Since he/she had children there is something good or a legacy for the future to look up to about him/her, so all hope is not lost.

“Even if they did not have children to keep their names.”

Maybe they have worked as teachers, plumbers, mechanics, doctors or nurses. They actually did something good, while they were alive that are legacies,  so    it is not as bad as everyone thought. Their legacies will move on. Some people did open charities to help others after they lost a loved one in their memory.

 Working in the memory of their loved ones  does   help   people to heal     fast   and avoid depression. When they see the result of what was achieved from celebrating the memory of their lost ones, their heart will get healed knowing that some good did come out of the loss   .   “They will not go ahead being depressed”.

    Do not live your life comparing yourself to others. I can afford a car, but if the expenses involved in managing a car will lead me into debt and getting depressed, then I will think of buying a car latter and commute to work, using the trains or buses or even taxis to avoid getting into debts that will get me depressed. It is better to live one day at a time to avoid getting into debts and depression.Can you actually live without those things that are getting you big bills. If they are wants and not needs, you can actually be happy without them. People do get depressed because they thought that they were poor and cannot afford a certain expensive lifestyle. I went to the thrift shop to buy a television that could have cost me more. Uncle Tom came to visit our home and did not know that the television was from the thrift shop and was happy that the living room is now looking better. “Avoid unprofitable businesses and associations” .

GRACEFUL

London  Lifestyle

The  New Expensive  Living

by Graceful  media

copied  from Graceful  Issue 4  July  /August  2022

Republished  on  Sunday  30/11/2025  23: 49  P.M  BMT  10mins

The aftermath of the Covid 19 has been price hikes in commodities in supermarkets with businesses troubled and many closed down. Life has become more expensive that the food shelves are spots where many look  at the price tags before they can place an item in their shopping carts. The days of stacking food items that you do not need and simply chucking the wastes down the bin seem to be over. People seem not to be interested in stacking food items they will not eat as many  are more careful about wasteful spending.I moved  around the city to ask my friends how they are coping with rise in expenses. Londoners love the shopping bags and from my observation they seem not to be worried about splashing money on expensive clothes, shoes and handbags as usual.But for those  living on the thrift,they are not worried because they can easily get their  favourite fashion items from the thrift shops and the open market. I travelled to North London to find out  if the new expensive living is bothering many. The North Londoners seem to be more worried about the bills and the house rents. They seem to have carried on with the shopping's, despite the new expensive living.I was at a shopping centre to observe the trend in shopping among Londoners and found out there was actually no change in their  shopping pattern and habits.

People are carrying heavy bags of shoes and clothes, despite the new high cost of commodities. I went to speak to a friend of my who has just upgraded his car and he told me that as a London hard worker, he I taking more jobs to meet up with his spending habits. Despite the price hikes Londoners seem not to be perturbed by the new expensive lifestyle.

Many of them are still shopping in the malls like before.

    London

Graceful

Beauty comes from within

Exploring the concept of inner beauty and finding inner peace

by  Graceland Media  team 

Friday 21/11/2025  22:27 a.m  BMT

One of the things that worry young adults is their facial looks. Sometimes you have the teenagers complaining that they have acne on their faces or they can ask you whether they are ugly .Their worries remind us of when we were young. You need to   reassure them that they are beautiful, even if there are skin flaws and blemishes just to give them the boost and confidence they need to move on in life, without having image problems. But as adults they get us amused, because as young people all that we thought that mattered in life was what our friends thought about our faces. Sometimes the younger unmarried ladies believe that they are not married, because they  are not beautiful enough, but all they needed to do was to cultivate  inner peaceful selves  and be  people that others  will  find attractive, through their inner qualities. Working to have inner qualities such as radiating joy, being peaceful, being resourceful, assisting others, and being   people who are lovely to be around with.

Beauty  Comes from  Within

For the younger people worried about acne, skin blemishes and how to improve their looks or  how to be more beautiful.  Firstly, they should strive to study to acquire good education or get good skills   which will assist them  to get better career prospects in life .This should be their first goals in life, choosing  career  pathways that could give them better financial prospects, enabling them to be able to  buy beauty if that is their needs,  rather than choosing otherwise. They can always reshape their noses, if the object of distaste was their noses, but that should not be the utmost worry for   a young person ,as cultivating the beautiful inner self  can make them  loved by  people, rather than the pursuit of cosmetic  beauty. When they get older they can always buy more beautiful faces.Their facial looks are not really  something to worry about. Radiating qualities that make one beautiful from within is very important.Recently  I was with some group of ladies, when I  studied about this concept.One of the ladies was very beautiful, but bossy and always angry. Nobody wanted to be around her. She made herself unattractive and you can see the turbulence in her inner self.Some of the ladies were not very beautiful ,but they were married to kind handsome rich men.And I got closer to understand their personalities and inner qualities that made them so lovely.They were joyful , hardworking  easy going ladies,who everyone gets along with,hence people find them lovely and attractive .Having that inner peace and ability to forgive and overlook people's  mistakes and errors  is  good. A face is just for identification.But work at becoming somebody with inner peace, because - BEAUTY COMES FROM WITHIN

Graceful

 Society

ARE THE NEIGHBOURS ALWAYS RIGHT?

Coping with the antics of the neighbours

by  Graceful  media team

Tuesday  18/11/2025  02.47 a.m  BMT  10min read

I always hear about people running into diverse  troubles,  because of  their nosy neighbours and we all have been through difficult moments in the time  past  as  a result of the activities of neighbours telling on others due to not  knowing who their neighbours  are. Have you ever had a situation where you caught the neighbour tiptoeing upstairs to listen to your conversations in order to find out what is happening in your house? It looks funny and laughable, but it is does happen sometimes with some neighbours, it is   real and has happened to some people. The neighbours telling tales and peeping through their windows, who do not know the people living next door, their names and occupations, are not always right. Good neighbourly living means waving goodbye, smiling and asking -Are you okay/alright? Rather than telling untrue tales about strangers running to go to work, shopping or bringing the kids back from school or doing early morning school runs every day .Imagine those anxious moments of taking three year olds to preschool. Pushing the buggy and hearing the screeching noise of the little one, who thinks that being at the nursery on a Wednesday morning is not what she needs at the moment. And having the nosy neighbour making complaints that a rather tired child is screeching inside the buggy seems too nosy. It is natural for three year olds to play tantrums, especially when tired after nursery sessions   and most mums are equipped with the skills and patience to deal with these situations. Of course these are natural mummy skills which most mums have and which come from just being a mom. The noises in ones neighbours’ houses are not always fights, it could be movies or people playing, laughing and making noises in their rooms. So rather than eavesdropping on ones neighbours, it is better to read a book, watch the television and smile when you see your neighbours passing. Attending neighbourhood meetings can give people the opportunities to meet and greet their neighbours and know who they actually are. But telling tales about ones neighbours based on hearsay and untrue stories is something of a hobby for those who are not thinking deeply.

                                             Meet the Neighbours

Living as communities in love is an essential aspect of healthy living. Nobody is capable of living in the desert without their neighbours.

Attending neighbourhood events/meetings is a special aspect of socialising, meeting and greeting our neighbours to know who they really are and understanding them is vital to neighbourhood happiness.

                                           Greet the Neighbours

The bridesmaids can be our neighbours. And sometimes youngsters have grown together in a neighbourhood as kids playing and married happily as adults later in life. Your neighbours can be your future in-laws.

Health and Lifestyle

GRACEFUL

The Reasons why playtimes are  good  for  kids

by  Graceful  media team

Wednesday 13/08/2025   12:30 P.M BST

In this new world where kids seem to be more sensible than adults and adults seem to think that there is something to be angry about kids playing down the garden I have been thinking deeply about the way some adults sometimes react to kids, letting out their energies, especially those ones who think that they will become the next Ronaldo , which seems to be the smartest thing to do by the kids today.Kids do love football especially the boys,who are always running about , but I do not think that the adults creating unneeded mess for others , over football running kids do understand that life changes very fast and that the football running kids do not always end up as footballers, as they sometimes do change their minds about what they wish to do in few years time to come.Adults sometimes behave like the angry buffalos, who saw the noisy little penguins along the streets ,with some blaming parents for not tying the kids to the chairs.Part of the early years developmental process includes the kids, especially the boys playing down the gardens, with adults watching them.I used to be in town, to see some of my childhood friends, who we used to play with as kids and I do remember the good old days of plays after school or during lunchtimes or school clubs which bring good memories and sweetness to my heart. Some of the football running tots and girls clapping hands , while the adult neighbours are angry with them by then, are now moms and dads with good professions. It is a fruitless venture running parents out of steam ,over littles tots making themselves happy. I have these little tots that play football over our garden, with their parents panicking that we will be upset and we will be laughing .It was during the COVID 2019/ 2020 that we saw the grumpies,who are angry at playing kids making football noises,because we had these crowd of kids playing football in the garden in our building .Today,the noisemaking football kids are driving down our street and waving goodbye to me,while going to work every morning.It is like a movie in my eyes . I told the panicking adults, that the little tots playing football in the garden, do not always play football over the garden forever,that soon they will be playing in clubs or develop other interests , adults do look back and wish that the noisy screaming football tots ,will be back to play .So these days we have the pin drop noise making levels in our former flats and the people there are now asking -Is anybody in the houses as everywhere is quiet.I think that adults fighting over kids are wasting useful energies ,that would have been used to other useful for society.When I pass the football over my garden ,I know that in the next few years the noise over the garden will become on the pin drop noise level , as the tots will be in clubs or work and will be driving down to see how we are faring as adults , who love tiptoeing and living the pin drop noise level lifestyle.And over the years moving through neighbourhoods and now seeing the football running lads , going to ASDA ,TESCO,BARCLAYS BANK to do city work , while waving at me,made me to know that adults being angry, at the lovely football running tots ,might be on time wasting ventures as soon everyone will be going away to do other things.It is good for parents to be considerate , by taking kids to the park to let out the steam, but arguing over playing kids, is not actually worth it.It is something one could overlook , as in few years time one will be thinking about seeing those kids play again, but you will be surprised to hear that the kids are now living in Japan , Cairo,New Zealand or Paris and sometimes you will pass them on the London streets and they will wave or come around screaming -Oh ,Aunty how are you? and they will be asking you questions about everyone and relieving the good old playdays ,after which they will wave goodbye.You will be there as an adult thinking how time flies some are passing with their own kids ,so we have actually passed the baton of the screaming adults, angry at kids to the little boys and girls who were playing football next door, just few years ago.The anger with the football playing happy clappy little tots , was not actually worth it , as we the adults are now strolling down the same street lonely,wishing that we can hear the tots again or watch them play football, but all the tots have moved on.

Health and Lifestyle

The reasons why peaceful  co-existence  is  good for the good  health and general wellbeing  of  families and communities

by  Graceful media Team

Tuesday  21/10/2025  18:38 P.m  BST

   Happy family times  courtesy Graceful

A happy man  is a man who  is at peace  with his family ,surrounded  by  his friends,  who  love him and the people he loves,who  appreciate his contributions  to help his  community to make life easy and  better for them.Living  at  peace with other  people is not  only  a  skill, but a virtue  that is  good to be learned.In my journeys, I've  met the  good,the  bad and the  ugly,but the  ugly  are  mostly  people  who like  picking  on others , who did  them  nothing , maybe they  share  different views different from theirs or they want to take what others have from them.Being able to  co-exist  with people despite,their views, ethnicity, faith views,financial  status and attitudes to life, is  a life-skill that  helps  people on the  long  run.It is not only good  for  families and communities ,but it is  good  for   countries.The losses people  get through  not  living  peacefully  with others  is much.Anybody  who  has  plans to destabilise   families, starts   by  raising false stories that causes quarrels and some are on agendas to take what the family  have from them,people  allow others  to  enter their  lives  and be  stressing them up,through what they are telling them about their spouses and families.There are many  people ,who do not see the danger  that  comes from  people  fueling  contentions in their  homes,communities  and even countries.Contentions  can make  families to  lose  hours  that  should have been used for  work,sleep or being happy chatting  together.There are people creeping  into  homes and  cities, to build  future  troubles for years and you need to identify them when they come around you and shift  away  from them using diplomacy.They always  have their agenda to take what you have  for themselves  and their motives are  greed  and avarice  stemming on human error  and insatiability over  having  things that belong to others.Diplomacy means that you can detach yourself  from them ,without  quarrelling with them,because  if you continue  associating with such people,you may have mental  health issues  or health issues  that could cause you work hours  ,  financial losses or marital breakdown.Families who engage  in  mouth  bouts, make themselves  vulnerable  and end up at losses  when they take their private troubles  to the  next level,by  escalating little  talks  to gigantic arguments.It is only  someone not seeing well , that will allow  people  to come around  their  families  to be escalating  problems , that are very minute .If you are a married  person and notice  someone , who after  holding  conversations with you  or  your spouse and  immediately he goes away ,an argument  will start , be wary of   such person's association .If  such an  association does not add positive values  to your life ,it is better  to  cut them off for your  family peace  and stability.Always  strive to associate  with positive people , who add  values to your life,work  and businesses. If someone negative comes into  a family,soon the whole  family will  become embroiled  in arguments,  that  will be taken to the next level and that is not  good  for  your mental health ,physical  health  and even financial  health.That person will  circulate  negative things, that no one cares  to hear or know about  and  cause  the family  too much  embarrassments  and stress.If someone has nothing positive to say  about  your family  members around you,he might be  on a negative agenda to ruin everything that have been built over  years.Once he finishes ,he will move away and you will  not see him  again.So many people  who have no stamina  to stand what those kind of people have said to  them, end up  in medications  and those ones who cleared themselves had  contacts with such people.It is better  not to make oneself and family   products of ridicules  by associations with  negative people  with negative agendas.For every argument  you make openly with your spouse or family members,it takes you to places of diminishing returns. Most  couples we  see on  the news, airing  their  dirty linens always  have  lesser issues than those clapping for them,while they  show  their vulnerabilities to a laughing world,  especially in this era of social   media, when  they think that  they are selling their family vulnerabilities to others to look better.Anybody  who can take  your  family issues  and put them out there in the negative  when you are down, is on  the sabotage agenda  .It is good to be  aware  of the people you   are talking to  about  your family arguments ,because   when people think that they are telling their family squabbles  to people  who feed and pay their bills by escalating arguments  by  chipping in the wrong words  that play negatively  in the mind ,then you have allowed yourself  to live in the negative mind control agenda,when you  finish the  squabbles, years latter you will not see the negative  strangers,  who had come and gone,but your losses and financial ruins    will be there for only you,started from a little  argument and fueled  with lies.Sometimes  it is better to  advice oneself to  shut  up ,when it comes to  disclosing family issues  to strangers,  because the people  you are speaking to have much  more difficult situations in their own families ,but  are keeping up  appearances. It is good  to separate  ones  professional  life, from  ones family life to avoid  embarrassing moments and dramas.There are  so many people  who  are out tto take what  others have built over years,  through tricks and they can only do that  by  helping those involved to  be fomenting troubles ,until  the same people  take their wives  and give to their friends or make them to lose their good public images  and positions,causing them losses ,they will not see the truth.Nobody gains from family feuds and  bad news  about their  brothers ,sisters,uncles  and cousins .  There  could be misunderstandings,  but  it is better to keep it in the family ,until  when everyone gets tired  and come to their  senses.I have seen  many people  who like making family troubles,getting old and tired  of  family  troubles  and the family members  become friends  again.Some of the trouble makers  who  are disseminating bad news about their own families are doing so because they are young  and have so much energies left in them ,in latter years  they will not want the troubles,because they would have gotten tired of troubles and acquiring properties.The arguments  start  by  conversations like" did you see what  bro Felix is doing  now".It  is  just  a misunderstanding  about  how something  could  be done or how someone  behaved towards them or  how family inheritances  could have been shared.Honestly , of  all the people I have seen  quarrelling over family looms,they left this earth without taking the family looms,so instead  of  driving in to see their family at Christmas,they will  be there complaining about how bad their  families  are.So they actually miss out  on precious family moments  just because of a little argument.I am sorry to mention that  most  family problems  start  with women married  from outside  families,who share  different views about life because of their own family values, which might not be great for their spouse's  families.Intelligent  men and women do not speak  negatively  about their families to their wives and vice  versa , because  everyone have ways  of understanding or interpreting life  matters and sometimes opinions  can be wrong,but  things do get worse  when family  squabbles are brought to the attention of others.It is  not really  good  for the mental  health  of the families involved.Not everyone have  the mental capacity to stand  people pressuring others to come and be arguing  with their own families,so it is better to keep ones family safe from damaging situations.It is  wiser to keep ones spouse away from family arguments  that bring hatred  among those who love themselves.Sharing what ones spouse told  you  about your sisters  and brothers , is  a mistake and can be a silly thing to do,because it can bring  resentments in family  circles.Everyone have their own interpretations  of life issues  and your's may not be mine and my opinions may not always  be right.And most times  people think that their opinion about a matter is right,but  others  see their own too as being right in their own eyes.What happens  when people  get high blood pressure caused by family  squabbles?.You wake up  and miss your  brother,sister,uncle,aunt,nephews and nieces  because blood is thicker than water.Even when you pretend that you did not miss your  brother,inside of you,you actually know that you are hurting,because previous pictures  of beautiful family times will be reminding you that things have changed and you will be hurting.But it is better to avoid developing high blood pressure  worrying over  your inability to be with your brothers or sisters, because of a  little problem.Sibling rivalries  can create family   arguments, because  sometimes people  might think that they should have had what their brothers have and are here to compare  who have what they have  -like whose wife is the most beautiful,who is wealthier  ,have better houses or cars  dwelling on the trivial. But everyone on earth  is here  by divine  appointment  and no-one  have the ability  to determine  what they will become as  adults, whether great or  small,rich or poor,famous or not famous,handsome  or ugly  ,but  it is better to share  in the good news  of ones family members,  because if my brother does not come to  ask me for  space to  move in his family,because he can afford  to pay his house rent,that saves me  some troubles.So people are better off without comparisons about who is doing better among siblings, which many people  find trivial  when they get older. Squabbles  come from places of envy through unneeded counsels from wrong people , with losses for the families involved.It is good to keep ones life simple,eat ones food  and be looking up.It is good to call ones family and have a laugh  than unneeded  arguments   that stems from the opinion from outsiders,some wishing  a family no good and they  can be  energy draining.How can someone be dwelling on the  negative things people told them their  families said about them?.How  do one believe  a stranger against their own family?.What will someone gain from saying negative things about others?.What can't someone forgive their family for?.For me  if    stories go beyond what I didnot hear  from the  horses mouth ,I do not  think  twice about them, because  third party stories are  mostly  unverified gossips,  that could be right or wrong .But even when it is right,we move on because  this life is dicey and who you see today might not be seen tommorrow  ,so it is fine to be happy  with people  while you are still seeing them.Even if  they had  said bad things  about us,it is better to  forgive on .One  can even  just stay away  but keep their  mouth mute  by not saying anything negative about their family or avoid  people pressing one   about  the  misunderstandings.Everyone behaves based  on their own interpretations of life,which is based on cultural or faith beliefs  but most faiths teaches  forgiveness  and love.  And love is the greatest of  everything.Why would  someone be pinning away, over what their  sister or brothers said and did not say.When people have quarrels  they  should not forget the good  times they  had together.  It is love and peace that attracts  stability and prosperity in families.Anyone selling troubles  to families  and nations is on an agenda  of stagnation and poverty for them  and it is  good  to stay away from  such situations , that destabilises  everyone.

The Desert Lifestyle

I embarked on a journey of curiosity to find out how the lonely live, which I have dubbed the desert lifestyle and I found out that it is not the best experience ever. I cut off ties with my loved ones, who found my recent behaviours poorly and socially unacceptable, not knowing that I am on one of my behavioural findings. Some of my friends voiced out their frustrations about my not picking up calls of lately, while I wished that I could see them soonest. Except for my lovely kin  who does not pick offence at my many queer ways  , he is always  happy to visit me and know how I am faring with my different lifestyles including the  expensive living and of recently- the desert lifestyle .The desert lifestyle  happens to be the most cumbersome,  as I was deserted by my dearest and fondest ,while the experiment lasted .I sometimes did  cry on my lonely bed ,wondering  what happens to  many people who were  forced into  living the desert lifestyle, because of  circumstances beyond their control. How do you cope if asked not to be with your dearest and well-loved kins? That is like living in the desert and no one wants to be alone at all times.

What are the circumstances that can lead to the desert lifestyle?

Many people have gone into depression and some have left the world alone, because of some circumstances beyond their control that made them to adopt the desert lifestyle. It could be that they were once rich and are now poor and were too ashamed to meet up with their old friends. It could be that their wives or spouses left them or their children did not want to see them as they were too busy for mum and dad. It could be that they became very famous and rich and all their friends left them. It could be that their new work schedules meant that they had to be alone at times or they were just got cut off from society by fate. Whatsoever is the reason, loneliness is not good and living in the desert for a long time is not good for the health. In a typical desert scenario like in the Sahara desert of Africa, there is no food,water, electricity or neighbours and the basic need for human touch can never be fulfilled. Assume falling sick while living alone in the desert, there will be no one to ring the ambulance for you or call   the doctors so I do not recommend the real life desert living for people. If one runs out of food or water in the desert, the person can die of hunger or thirsty. And during cold winter the desert living means that one can be caught up in the cold sick, with no one to help them to charge the light, cook or even put on the heater.

The Desert lifestyle means that even though you are surrounded by people you still feel alone. It can be during the times your patience is being tested. You need to always look out for those who love you, so that you will not fall into depression during the tempting moments.

GRACEFUL

Health

Air  pollution  and how  it is  affecting  our  health  negatively

by  Chinyere Nwakanma

Tuesday  28th  May  2025   11.07 a.m  BST 

Supporting   through  research  and by  providing new    innovations

Participants  from different  companies  at the Net  Zero MEA  summit